Two Italians walk into a club room
by I.will.drink.this.coffee
Summary: After Feliciano and Lovino Vargas break an expensive vase belonging to the Host Club, they are doomed to serve them by the self proclaimed "king" Francis Bonnefoy. Which isn't all bad, considering everyone thinks Feli's a girl and they're surrounded by a bunch of fun rich guys. Ludwig also makes things better somehow. OHSHC AU/Gerita/Spamano/USUK
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: _You are a Host_**

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Feliciano gripped the top of his dress as he politely dodged people in the hallway, just desperately trying not to trip. It was his first day at the academy, and although a dress wouldn't be his first choice, he supposed worser things could have happened. He knew Lovino didn't mean to order a girl uniform for him, and sure the cream colored skirts were atrocious, but they were much more comfortable than the boy uniforms.

Besides, despite the mix up, the day went relatively smoothly for his first time there. He befriended some nice girls who asked for his advice on face products and some even shared cramp stories. He couldn't exactly relate on a personal level, but he knew they were just trying to be social.

But even so, Feliciano was ready to go home. He was tired, his feet hurt, and he really wanted to get back in time for dinner. But for some strange reason, he couldn't find Lovino. They were in the same year but he hadn't seen him since class had ended for the day.

With his mind unfocused and his backpack hanging off one arm, he ran full speed down the hallway not even registering when someone stepped around the corner in front of him. Feliciano barrelled straight into the noticeably tall man's chest and fell backwards on impact.

At that instant, the Italian was much too worried about the pain on his butt to even think about the boy in front of him, but after a few shaky moments Feli peeked up through his bangs. He worked his gaze from the boy's feet all the way up to his face. The blonde who stood before him, who was quite attractive Feliciano noticed, looked scandalized.

His face was flushed and he was half holding his hand out as if he wanted to say something. "Ahh..miss.." He nodded his head at the teen on the title floor.

Feli widened his eyes and he quickly glanced down at himself. To his horror, his skirt had been flipped up, and the way he was half-laying-half-sitting revealed the awkward black shorts he wore underneath.

"Ah!" Feliciano chuckled in a lame attempt to cover up his embarrassment. He quickly fixed his skirt and held up his hands, waving them around frantically. "H-hi! I'm so sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going and I was looking for someone and I couldn't slow down and I'm sorry I flashed you-!"

"Just calm down, will you?" The boy, or man seemed like a better word to describe the voice, butt in. He had a strong accent and Feli had to hold in a chuckle at the sound of it. But he wanted to hear it again.

Feliciano stared with wide eyes as the boy held out one hand and rubbed his temple with the other. Feli could feel the smile forming on his face and he happily accepted the extended hand.

Once on his feet again, Feli met the other teen's eyes and was met with striking blue. No mix of any sort, just plain blue like the sky on a cloudless day. He also noticed the blonde wasn't blushing anymore and he had a stern set on his face. He had a well shaped jawline and his hair was slicked back, no strays even daring to stick out of place.

The blonde released his grip before quickly swooping up Feliciano's backpack and dropping it in his hands. "Make sure your eyes are open before running down the hallway. It's dangerous to not pay attention."

And with that, the accented boy who Feliciano now identified as German, nodded his head and walked around the auburn haired boy, continuing his journey down the hall.

Glancing over his shoulder, Feli's eyes followed the stranger and subconsciously played with the strings on his backpack.

Even from far away the man looked tall and through his royal purple uniform Feliciano could make out his toned muscles. Clutching his backpack to his chest, Feli sighed dreamily. After another moment of his scattered mind making up scenarios about his and the German's next meeting, he finally remembered that it was still his top priority to find his missing twin.

With a swift glance down the hall he realized few students were still around. He shook the thoughts (pleasant thoughts that he was not ashamed of) from his head and swung his bag over his shoulder. Then he quickly fixed his dress and ran a hand through his auburn locks before checking every room he came across.

At last resort, Feli tried the boy's room, which he highly doubted would harbor his brother for he knows how much Lovino resents using public bathrooms. He also claimed they were too icky, which wasn't something most people blamed him for.

But low and behold, Lovino stood in front of the mirror dabbing his pink cheeks with tissues.

"Lovi?" the younger Italian cried.

Lovino's head whipped around and he dropped the tissues on the floor. "What do you want?!"

Feliciano bounded over, throwing his arms up and his eyebrows furrowed in worry. "What's wrong?"

Lovino's eyes darkened and he looked away but he didn't make any harsh movements when Feli placed a hand on his shoulder. "This new school sucks! The jerks are jerkier than the ones at our old school and they're all fucking dickheads!"

"Oh Lovi! It's not that bad!" Feliciano replied bubbly, earning a death glare from Lovino. Feli had always known Lovino had a harder time in school than himself, but with his prayers and positive thinking he was sure Lovino would have a great year! "Besides! This is where Grandpa Roma went to school! So we have to go here!"

The older Italian slapped his palms on the counter causing the younger to jump. "I know you stupid idiot! I'm not dumb!'

Feliciano hummed in agreement, already used to his brother's common outbursts he patted his back. "I have an idea! Let's go find the art room! I've wanted to do that since I got here!'

Grabbing Lovino's limp hand and ignoring his shout, "That's your thing not mine!", Feliciano dragged his fuming brother out of the restroom.

"Come on! It's gotta be around here somewhere!" the bubbly brother gushed.

"You look damn ridiculous in that dress!" Lovino complained loudly, his voice echoing down the halls.

"Really? I look like a real girl though!" Feli giggled and stopped in his tracks for a moment. He randomly selected a door and continued toward it, still dragging Lovino's weight. "Besides," He spoke on, pushing the heavy doors open. "This is quite comfy and-!" He stopped mid sentence when he realized this was not the art room. Or maybe it was, and a group of attractive boys were posing for a painting?

Feliciano still had his hand gripping his brother's wrist and the other had his skirt bunched up in a fist. In front of the twins stood, and sat, approximately seven men. At first glance he noted there were many blondes, two dark haired boys, and one with silverish hair. Feli couldn't remembered what people called those...Anyways, all the boys, minus about two, had friendly smiled on their faces as if they were expecting the Italians to do something.

Feliciano cocked his head to the side but cracked a smile. He released his hold on Lovino and his dress. Glancing at his brother, he picked up on Lovino's sour mood and the scowl on his face didn't prove he was trying to mask it. "Well? What the hell is this?"

Without a second to spare and a swift movement, the teen who was sitting in the center of the red velvet couch stood up and practically glided toward them. His longish wavy blonde hair was pulled back in a ribbon and draped over his shoulder. His grin was gorgeous, Feli noticed, and his wink probably caused girls to faint. "Welcome to the Host Club! _Mon amis_ , we have not seen you around here before, so let me introduce myself. I'm Francis Bonnefoy, the king of the Host Club! These _beau_ folk behind me are my subjects."

Behind Francis, another voice which strongly contrasted with Francis' French accent, in fact it was British, muttered an, "Oh sod off! No one calls you king!"

Feliciano peeked around, confirming the voice was coming from a blonde boy, who appeared to be shorter than most of them, with green eyes. He had his arms crossed and a scowl on his face. Next to him stood a taller golden haired boy with his arm draped around the Brit's shoulder. He sported glasses, and unlike the former, he had his uniform unbuttoned revealing his undershoot and loosened tie.

"Yeah Francis! Artie's right dude!"

Francis irritably looked over his shoulder. "Would you two keep your stupid mouths shut please?"

The short boy clicked his tongue in annoyance and the tall simply laughed at an unnecessary volume.

Francis turned back towards his guests with an apologetic smile. "Sorry you guys had to witness that." Two boys snickered behind him and the blonde promptly ignored them. "Now may I ask your names?"

Feliciano grinned widely and stood up straighter. He clasped his hands behind his back and began bubbly, "Hi! I'm Feli Vargas!" He turned to his brother who looked highly uncomfortable and a little more than ticked off. "And this is my big brother Lovi! Well, his real name is Lovino but I call him Lovi!"

"Shut up!" Lovino hissed.

Francis seemed amused by the two's antics and he stepped closer, gently cupping Feli's chin with his hand. "So what's your type?"

Feliciano blinked.

Francis stepped back and held his arms in the general direction of the boys. "Is it the hero type?" Francis tried, causing the blonde with glasses from earlier to place one hand on his hip and do some sort of salute with the other.

"Ha yeah dude!'' came his reply.

"Or the tsunder type?" Said tsunder, the other blonde from earlier tightened his crossed arms and pointedly looked away. All they got was a "Hmph!" in response.

"Maybe the mischievous type?'

The silver haired boy, albino's the word Feli remembered, displayed a toothy grin and his impressive muscles. "Yeah! I'm AWESOME! I'm sure you could sense my awesome before walking in this room!"

Ignoring the Mischievous Type's remarks, Francis continued with, "Oblivious type?"

The boy he was referring to displayed a sincere, beautiful smile. He was obviously Spanish and his accent didn't prove otherwise. " _Si_ ~! That's me!" He ruffled his hair attractively. "But I still don't get why they call me that!"

The previously introduced boy flicked the Spaniard in the head who began whining in his native tongue.

Francis waved his hand to a short little Asian boy, though Felli wasn't sure what his cultural background could be, who was sitting on the couch next to where Francis had originally been seated.

He had a laptop sitting on his thighs and a calculator sitting next to him. "What about the distant type?" At his cue, the Asian boy help up a simple peace sign but had a blank look on his face.

"Or...'' The blonde leader dragged on dramatically. "The serious type?"

Feliciano finally cocked his head when he caught sight of a relatively familiar face. He hadn't changed since he saw him those countless minutes ago. How Feliciano had not noticed the gorgeous German was beyond him. Maybe he was just so caught up in the excitement

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Nevertheless, the German merely blinked in response to his introduction, his posture straight and eyes stern. But they were directed right at him.

Feli closed his gaping mouth before hopping on the balls of his feet and flattening out his skirt. "You!" he giggled and pointed straight at the targeted boy.

The others immediately responded with chuckles or surprised looks, the albino going as far as to say, "MY BABY BROTHER'S ALL GROWN UP!" before collapsing on the ironically taller man's shoulder.

Francis' eyes were wide in mock astonishment. He didn't even get to introduce his type! Even so, Francis flipped his hair and purred, "Really..? A ball of sunshine like yourself for the serious type?"

"Ludwig~!" The oblivious and mischievous boys sang.

Ludwig, as Feli just learned, put a hand to his forehead and shrugged his brother off him. "No you idiots. She just recognized me from when she ran into me in the hall earlier."

Francis waved his hand dismissively and stepped away from Feli, he then turned to the brooding brother. He scooped up the boy's face smoothly. "What about you?" He purred out before Lovino stepped back uncomfortably with a jolt and a loud curse.

Francis tapped his lips in amusement. "I'm pleasantly surprised that a new student would be so openly gay."

At that indication he turned bright red and held up a fist, taking another step back. "What the hell! I'm not gay you dick!"

Feli smiled supportively and bounded over to Lovino laying his head on his shoulder. "Oh don't lie Lovi!"

When a few of the other guys snickered, Lovino's ears pinkened further and he was genuinely afraid his face would catch on fire. "Shut up Feli!" He growled before pointing the finger at the others. "SHUT UP BASTARDS!"

Before them, the Spaniard boy was leaning over the back of the couch and swingling his legs in the air childishly. He raised his head and said with a pearly smile, "Hey Lovi! If it makes you feel any better, I think you're so cute!"

Lovino's eyes widened.

"Antonio, give the kid a break," the tsunder muttered. But even he was suppressing a smile.

"Sorry!" Antonio gushed and placed both hands on his cheeks. "He just looks like a little tomato!"

"Yes!" Feli jumped up waving his arms wildly and making on eye contact with the giggling Antonio. "Lovi loves tomatoes! They're his favorite food ever! When we were six he picked the perfect tomato and tried to raise it like a baby but it quickly went bad and he cried and-!"

"Feli shut up!" Lovino shouted furiously and pushed Feli harshly, sending him across the area and right into an extremely expensive looking vase.

This antic hardly had time to shatter before Feliciano was down on his knees, tears in his eyes and asking for forgiveness. Lovino, on the other hand, was standing next to his brother waving his arms and reprimanding him for being so stupid.

"Damn," the Hero said. "That's not good, is it Arthur?"

Arthur blinked, as if in indifference. "No Alfred, it's not. Such a shame, that was going to be sold at the next school auction for thousands of dollars."

Alfred shrugged and returned to his place with his arm wrapped around Arthur's shoulder. "That's alright! The school cost so much money, you've gotta be rich to even attend this school!"

The brothers both looked at each other with the same terrorized expression.

"Well," Feli sniffed.

"You dickwads don't get it," Lovino cut in. "The is where our grandpa went to school. If he found out we caused fucking trouble on the first day he'd fucking end us."

Feliciano looked away as if having war flashbacks. "Punishment would be worse than any amount of money we have to pay."

The others stared back speechless, not sure what to say. Antonio muttered an, "Awww.. Gilbert look at them."

Suddenly the Asian boy, who Feli was almost positive was Japanese now, stood up and stepped next to Francis. "Well, if you can't pay for it, there's another option."

Lovino nodded, the terrified look still in his eyes. "Y-yeah. Sure, Feli will do whatever you want."

Francis' eyes met Kiku's, and when he got the nod of approval he needed, he smirked. He dramatically pointed his finger at the boys and announced, "To pay off your debts, you will be the dogs of the Host Club!"

Both boy blinked.

Francis shrugged his shoulders. "The Host Club is where a group of boys, who have too much time on their hands," he nodded his head toward the men behind him.

"Trust me, this is not how I wanna spend my time." Arthur murmured.

Francis ignored him and continued, "Entertain beautiful girls, who also have too much time on their hands."

Feliciano blinked and slowly raised his hand.

Gilbert pointed at the boy almost instantly and shouted, "PERMISSION TO SPEAK!"

Feli slowly cocked his head, his hand still raised. "Yeah..Um..What?"

Lovino whistled sarcastically and held up his palms. "Okay, yeah, I get it." He propped his arms up behind his head and casually walked toward the door. "You guys may have tons of time on your hands, and for as much as I would love to be surrounded by pretty girls, I don't have time. Feli will take care of it.''

But before he could even grab the doorknob, Antonio and Gilbert slid in from either side, blocking the door.

"HAHA! Not so fast noodle boy!" Gilbert cackled. "You can't get past my awesome!"

Antonio laughed awkwardly and did the hair ruffle again. "Heh, sorry."

"Mr. Lovino," the French accent purred and Lovino felt a rush of panic when he felt two hands on his shoulders and a voice in his ear whisper, "You are both responsible. Both you and Feli will serve at the Host Club, or I will personally, through a servant, tell your grandfather."

The older Italian shoved the Frenchmen off him again and looked around. Everyone stared at him expectantly. Francis looked smug, Antonio looked hopeful, and Gilbert...frankly, with his grin, Gilbert just looked evil.

Lovino turned to Feliciano who just stared at him with a blank face. What could he do..? Ugh! He really hated talking to people!

"Fine! You stupidass dipshit! I'll join your fucking creepyass group!" He snapped suddenly.

Cheers broke out among the room and Francis hummed approvingly. "Yes. Well, you'll have to attend a future stop-swearing-bootcamp with Gilbert and Arthur, but other than that it's perfect."

"Fuck off Franny!" Gilbert shouted at the same time Arthur cursed, "Oh screw off you bloody Frenchie!"

"Yay!" Feliciano cheered. "We're part of the Host Club!"

"Ahem," Ludwig cleared his throat loud enough to get everyone's attention and stepped forward. "Do you really think you'll have a positive effect on the Host Club?"

Feliciano's cheeks tinted pink and he threw his arms up and spun on his heel, his skirt fluttering in the process. "Absolutely!"

Lovino narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. "I can do anything better than you asshole."

A spark of agitation seemed to cross through Ludwig's face at Lovino's words. But he took a deep breath and said, "fine." He nodded his head and continued, "Welcome to the Host Club, then."

Then he walked around the couch to the other side of the room to attend to other business.

"Ludwig approved!" Feli hopped in place. "That means were dogs of the Host Club! Wait, can we be cats of the Host Club? Cats are cute and I love them-!"

Once again, Feli was cut off by the Frenchie's hand on his chin. Feliciano watched as Francis raised his eyebrows in what seemed like confusion, before returning back to his regular smirk. "You can be whatever you want to be, Miss Vargas."

When he was released, Feli smiled warmly. He then felt an arms drape around his shoulder and looked up to find Gilbert who was grinning like a maniac. He had his other arm around Antonio, who in turn had his arms wrapped around the albino and Lovino.

"Yay! New members!" They both cheered as Lovino desperately fought out of their grip.

Within seconds, the little Japanese boy stepped forward. He bowed politely and spoke softly, "Hello there, I'm Kiku Honda. It is very nice to meet both of you."

Still laughing from the friendly poke he received in the side from Gilbert, Feli held out his hand. "Hi! It's nice to meet you too! Do you like pasta? I make pasta for all my friends, I should make you some pasta!"

For a moment, Kiku looked a bit overwhelmed, but when he hesitantly took the other's hand, he visibly relaxed. He glanced at Feli's dress and scanned his up and down. His mind took a moment to register, but Kiku cracked a smile.

* * *

The next day was the first official day the dogs served the Host Club. And Lovino was pissed. As fuck.

"I cannot believe those bastards made us go home just to bring them home made pasta!"

Feliciano waved his hand dismissively, a cheerful smile gracing his features. "Yeah, but can you blame them? Home made pasta is the best!"

Lovino frowned. He couldn't help but agree, though there was no way he was doing that out loud.

Once pushing open the oversized doors (or kicking in Lovino's case) the boys slowly eased into the room. It was filled with girls of all different shapes, race, and size. It really was a melting pot.

Quickly, Kiku raced to the door to greet them. "That was quick," he stated. "Thank you for doing this. Francis was just desperate for you guys to serve him. Excuse me a moment." Kiku turned and made his way to Francis, who had three girls sitting with him and a group of maybe twenty two appeared to be waiting their turn.

Kiku tapped the self-proclaimed King's shoulder and pointed in the twins' direction. Francis' attention quickly shot to them and Gilbert and Antonio seemed to have popped up to his sides out of nowhere. The blonde said something to the girls before the three rushed over, snatched up the pasta without as much as a thank you, and ran back over.

Every female in the room quickly gathered around, trying to get as close to the trio with the food.

"Wow! It looks so yummy!" Antonio praised, causing some girls to giggle.

"Yeah!" Gilbert agreed. "I've never seen anything like it before!"

Feliciano's jaw literally dropped and he held up his arms in a distressed manner. "You guys have never had Italian food?"

The Spaniard shook his head. "Our chefs usually make our food and they normally stick to our own culture! Though lots of it is similar..."

The Vargas brothers shared bewildered looks. "No wonder these people are all stupid as shit." Lovino stage whispered.

Francis must not have caught it because all he did in response was step up onto a stool that was conveniently there and announced, "I will eat this pasta!" He slowly and carefully twirled some onto his fork and put it into his mouth. He slapped his lips together and nearly shouted, "This is delicious!"

When both Antonio and Gilbert insisted they wanted some Francis quickly forked fed both of them. They both hardly finished chewing before they began squealing in glee.

"I WANT SOME!" A familiar loud, voice boomed through the room. Alfred came to a stop when he stood in front of Francis and snatched up the fork. Not caring in the slightest that three people used it already, he took a bigger forkful than the other three combined and shoved it sloppily into his mouth. Alfred didn't seem to mind Francis' openly cringing face and chewed thoughtfully. "Wow bro! I love it!"

One girl held up a hand. "Let me try some!" Several other girls followed her lead after.

The more level headed members of the club, who consisted of Arthur, Kiku, and Ludwig, stood off to the side. Ludwig was literally facepalming.

With plates now distributed, Alfred filled his with more noodles. "Who made this?" He asked through a mouthful.

Feliciano smiled sweetly. "Our _nonno_ did!"

Antonio wiped his face on his sleeve, earning a look from Francis. He smiled sheepishly and turned to the Italians. "Can you two cook like this?"

Lovino scoffed and placed his hands on his hips pridefully. "You kidding? Of course we can! Back at home it's usually us cooking and serving for the chefs!'' Most faces in the room looked exceptionally impressed, to Lovino's enjoyment. He hated everyone, but he loved doing things no one expected. No one ever expected anything good out of him.

Soon, after everyone finished eating, the groups dispersed back to their original positions. The Hosts went seperate ways and their loyal subjects followed. Once again, Feli and Lovino found themselves next to Kiku, who had a laptop under one arm. He set it down and picked up two trays full of all sorts of snacks and handed them to the brothers.

Feli accepted his excitedly while Lovino muttered a few swears under his breath. "What really is this club about anyway?" Lovino piped up, trying to delay his slave labor he was forced into.

Kiku nods and smiled. "Well, Francis started the club. As he said before, it's where all us Hosts entertain the females of the academy. Every Host has his own specialty or trait that may appeal to each individual girl and it's his job to keep her happy."

Feli found himself nodding as his eyes drifted over Alfred and Arthur who sat together. "Why do some have more than one guy?"

Kiku kind of shrugged and nodded at Antonio and Gilbert who seemed to be telling a story about something that involved ... a cow? "Well when Francis started the club, the three of them would all be in a group together, telling the stories of the Bad Touch Trio. But Francis became independently popular. He occasionally groups with the others because the three are practically inseparable but it was just easier for him to be on his own. Gilbert and Antonio just never separated, though we did consider it."

Kiku's eyes drifted over to the blonde boys who were currently arguing about something trivial. They were seated on two separate couches, but they were pushed together so they were sitting back to back.

"Arthur and Alfred technically have their own stations. But the two of them have known each other since childhood. Alfred insisted that they would work better together because their stories always involved each other." Kiku smiled softly at the pair. Currently, Alfred was continuously poking the back of the Brit's head, and you could tell that at any second he would snap. "Also, Arthur's tsunder tendencies kick in when Alfred is around and I think the girls prefer that."

Lovino switched the tray to his other hand. "This place is damn freaky."

Feliciano doesn't hear the comment, as his gaze was fixed on Ludwig, who was straight across the room from where he stood. Many girls filled in around him, though he didn't look too interested. He nodded politely and would feign semi-convincing smiles. "What about Ludwig?"

Kiku glanced at Ludwig and began to open his mouth to say something when he felt an arm drape around his shoulder and heard obnoxious laughter in his ear.

"Well people come and see Ludwig because he's a total hunk! Duh!" Alfred pumped out his chest as Kiku tried to untangle himself from the boy. Arthur crossed his arms and began verbally scolding him.

Alfred released Kiku but waved a hand dismissively at Arthur. "Yeah, yeah, whatever Artie." He turned back to Feli. "Girls love guys like that, don't they Feli?"

The Italian flushed as Lovino scoffed. "I mean, probably!" He agreed.

Alfred's smiled dropped for a mere second to share a confused glance with Arthur. They both shrugged and the smile returned.

"Anyway," Arthur coughed into his fist and took a step in front of Feli. "Pardon my asking Feli, but are those combat boots you're wearing? I noticed they don't match what the other girls wear."

Feliciano raised his eyebrows and glanced at his feet. He let out an awkward laugh. "Ah yeah.. well the girls' dresses fit me perfectly, but the shoes were a little harder to manage..."

Again Arthur raised an eyebrow at Alfred who just shook his head. "The girls uniform...?" He trailed off.

"WE NEED MORE MUNCHIES!" A thick German accent, one that did not belong to Ludwig, announced. Knowing that that was their cue, Feli eased around the older boys. "Excuse me!"

"Move bastards!" The older and more impolite twin shoved between them.

That was enough to break their trances, and once Lovino was out of earshot, Arthur stuck up his nose. "I don't like that git's attitude. He needs to watch his bloody language. "

Alfred grinned and elbowed his life long friend in the side. "As if you're one to talk, Artie!"

Arthur forced a smile onto his face. "Alfred, I've told you numerous times, I hate it when you call me-!"

 _CRASH!_

In the middle of the room, the dogs of the Host Club lay on the floor rubbing their heads, surrounded by all sorts of snacks and their trays.

"Sorry! We'll clean it up!" Feli cried.

In fact, that's how the rest of the evening went. Feli and Lovino stumbling over each other and spilling trays. Just being overall, bad servants.

When club was over and all the girls were on their way, the Vargas' stood in front of the door while all the Host stood across from them at the couch, much like the previous day.

They all stood quietly for a moment, until Antonio broke the uncomfortable atmosphere by jokingly saying, "Wow! You guys are really bad at this!"

Both brothers fell forward onto their knees. "I'm sooo sorry! I didn't mean to! I'm not used to this and I don't usually wear a dress and I haven't eaten dinner or had my siesta so things are kind of of!"

"I'm sorry don't blame me! It was Feli's fault! It's always Feli's fault! I'm not a klutz and i don't deserve to get in trouble because it's you jerks who forced me to do this! Just don't tell grandpa!"

The incoherent rambling went on and on until both were apologizing frantically in fluent Italian and waving their arms around.

The younger German in the bunch placed his hand on his forehead irritably and sighed. "I knew this was a bad idea." He shook his head.

Alfred, not being the sharpest tool in the shed, just pointed at them and smiled. "I don't know dude! It's really cool to hear them speak Chinese out loud!"

"Idiot," Arthur muttered, giving the American a nice smack in the back of the head.

Antonio smiled fondly at the nearly crying Italians. "Aww! They're so cute when they are terrified!"

Gilbert nodded and held up a hand. "Especially Feli. She is really fucking adorable."

Francis nodded. "Of course she is." He stepped forward and held up a hand. It took a moment, but the blabbering boys finally noticed and belted up. "You guys do indeed suck.. But I have another plan...! You two can be hosts!"

From behind Francis, Ludwig raised his eyebrows and cupped his chin. "A female host?"

Kiku smiled with his hands clasped together behind his back. "That's actually not a bad idea. That would open the club furthermore to the school, many of the boys would love the opportunity." Kiku then shrugged his shoulders and held up his palms. "Aside from that, many males have most likely wanted to come in here and talk to you already existing Hosts, but haven't out of sake of tradition and embarrassment. This will give them an excuse."

Gilbert threw his fist in the air. "Sounds good to me!"

Antonio threw his arms around Francis and the albino. "Yay!"

Grabbing the Brit's shoulders firmly and shaking him uncontrollably, Alfred shouted, "YEAHHHH!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Arthur muttered through his whiplash.

Ludwig's eyes grazed over the Italians for a moment and raised an eyebrow in concern. Francis patted Antonio's arm, which was still around him. "Good. From this day forward, you two are Hosts!"

Both boys blinked in confusion, which was starting to seem like a common occurrence. Feli shook it off and threw his arms up. "That sounds exciting! That's good right?"

Lovino scowled and elbowed his glowing brother. "Are you kidding? I wouldn't even let you pay me to get me more involved in your whore house ways!"

"Ahhh Lovino!" Francis sang and Antonio chuckled next to him. The Frenchman poked the younger boy's nose, who nearly bared his teeth in return. "Let me remind you of your situation!"

With nothing else to fight back with, Lovino took a few steps away and looked at the floor.

"Well if that's settled," Arthur cut in and walked forward. He motioned toward Feli and said, "There is no way she can wear that rag during club. The girl uniforms at this school, I swear, the designer had a screw loose."

Francis nodded. "Oui, something we can agree on _mon ami_."

"Yeah," Alfred piped in. "We have some totally rocking dresses that will look awesome with her combat boots bruh!"

Francis snapped his fingers. "Right! Gil! Toni! Show Feli where she can change her clothes!"

"Okay!" Antonio cheerfully obliged.

"Don't tell awesomeness what to do!" Gilbert complained. Nevertheless, both boys snagged Feli's hands and began dragging the younger Italian through a door. Lovino quickly followed. Once in the new room, a changing room of some sorts, Gilbert began rummaging through the closet. Once deciding on one he liked, he yanked it off the hanger and eagerly shoved it in Feli's hands.

"This will be your uniform from now on so you'll have to put it on before club! Go ahead! Try it on!"

Feliciano held the dress, that even at first glance was much prettier, to his chest. "Ahh.." He blushed staring down at the bunch of fabric awkwardly.

"Do you need help putting it on?" Antonio asked, oblivious to how inappropriate the question was.

"Well.." Feli flushed.

"Uh no!" Lovino growled, pushing past his fellow Hosts and grabbing his brother's shoulder. "I always help Feli get ready, so neither of you assholes are going to do it!" He shoved Feli behind the curtain, sent a rather dark glare towards them, then harshly closed the curtain behind him.

Antonio and Gilbert glanced at each other. "Wow..." Antonio said aloud. "He must really care about his sister."

* * *

Feliciano strolled into the Clubroom after school hours, sporting his new dress. It was a green dress with a poofy skirt that came down to about his ankles. It gave a maid vibe, possibly originally used for a Maid Cafe of some sort, the white apron and large bow contributing to that. On his own, Feli found a cute bandanna to wrap around his head. Not only did it add more to the maid effect, but it also made work easier without hair falling into his eyes.

Overall, the outfit went much better with his combat boots.

"Wow Feli you are so cute!" Antonio gushed right away.

"Yeah! My awesome pick of that dress was awesome!" Gilbert half-praised-Feliciano and half-praised himself.

Francis ran straight over, joining the cooing fest. "You'll make the most adorable little Host!"

Behind them, Lovino stood against the wall, arms crossed and scowl hard. He bit down hard on the inside of his cheek and turned away.

Feli grinned enthusiastically but undoubtedly was scanning the room for someone in particular. His heart skipped a beat in startlement when Francis unexpectedly stepped onto a stool and announced, "Excuse me everyone!" All the girls attention turned to him. "We have two new Hosts! First up is the beautiful Feli!"

Murmurs broke out across the room as Feli waved happily and did a little curtsy. Surly they whispered about the assumed gender of the Italian.

"And then there is Feli's kid brother, Flavio!" Francis grinned knowingly.

Lovino quickly stood up straight and his whole face burnt red with anger. "It's Lovino! And I'm the older brother!"

Francis waved his hand dismissively. Antonio patted the Italian's head in amused sympathy but Lovino pushed him away.

"Anyway! Feel free to talk to them!"

Girls from all over were drifting toward them, and soon they began to approach. A group of five or six girls found themselves in front of Lovino who was still propped against the wall. For a moment he looked rather overwhelmed, but at his old school he was somewhat of a ladies' man. Quickly remembering those days, Lovino regained his composure and put on a rather convincing smile.

"Hello _bellas_." The girls nearly swooned.

As for Feli, tons of girls ran up to him, asking him hundreds of questions.

"How did you get to become a host?"

"You're not dating any of them are you?"

"Where did you get that dress?"

"How are you so pretty?"

"What is Francis' phone number?"

In all honesty, it was extremely confusing but he enjoyed it. He had tons of cute girls around him and they all wanted to be his friend! But in an instant he caught a glimpse of Ludwig, no girls around him, across the room. The swarming girls kind of lost his attention.

"Excuse me girls!" He said apologetically before running toward the blonde rather dramatically.

"Awwww!'" The girls left behind cooed. "They must be dating!"

"Ludwig!" Feli's endearing voice sang until he cut off by face planting right in front of the German man.

"Aww!" the girls continued cooing as Ludwig reluctantly offered his hand. "You are too clumsy for your own good." He irritably shook his head.

"Haha, yeah.." Feli nervously wrung his hands, but his eyes lit up when he remembered what he came over for. "Like my new dress?" He spun on his heel to showcase his new attire.

Ludwig knit his eyebrows together but nodded. "Ah.. Yeah sure." He placed his hand gently on Feli's tuft of hair. "just behave yourself in the club room."

Feliciano nodded. He stood straight with his feet together and held his hand up in a salute. "Aye aye Luddy!"

Ludwig released the boy's head with an eyeroll but a smile twitched slightly at his lips. "Do it with your right hand." He corrected.

Feli quickly glanced at his hands, piecing together he was using his left hand and switched. "Like this?"

The blonde nodded approvingly which caused the Italian to jitter in excitement. He opened his mouth to add something, when he heard a feminine accented voice call, "Oi, Ludwig? Can you assist me over here please?"

Both boys looked up and standing off to the side near an abandoned table was and averaged height girl with a slim figure and light blonde hair down to her waist. She had a bow sitting on top of her head and she was actually able to make the hideous school uniforms work. She stood waving him over.

Ludwig nodded in acknowledgment to her. He turned to Feliciano and said, "Excuse me," before walking off.

Feliciano watched as he greeted her. He even caught the glare she sent his way. Deciding that she was kind of cute and that she was probably having a bad day, he blamed the lighting.

* * *

Feli roamed the halls after club hours, desperately looking for his backpack. Lovino already left for home at his own insistence. His brother was in a better mood now that those pretty girls raised his self esteem, but he was still pissed at Francis for butchering his introduction. Being the great brother he is, Feli told him he could manage on his own and that he would be home soon too. But it didn't seem to be looking too good.

In defeat, Feliciano's eyes welled up with tears. He dragged his feet to the nearest window and pressed his forehead against the cool surface. After a few deep breaths, he blinked away the tears and focused out the window. Lo and behold! Outside, laying in the fountain, was his kitten shaped backpack! And every single assignment he had received this week!

Feliciano gasped loudly and ran for the stairs, completely out of breath when he reached his destination. With a small whimper he kicked off his shoes and pulled up the skirt of his dress. He didn't want his club uniform to get soaked. He hopped in and winced at the sudden shock of the cold, before rummaging through his soaked papers.

He hummed silently to himself, something his grandpa taught him to do when he needed cheering up. But that only lasted for a moment, because he soon heard footsteps behind him.

He squawked like a parrot and dropped all the papers that were in his hands, loosing all the progress he had previously made. He spun around on his bare feet and gold eyes met blue. "Oh Luddy! It's you! I was scared for a moment! What are you still doing here?"

Ludwig had an eyebrow raised, wondering why Feli was asking questions when the Italian was the one splashing around in a fountain. But Ludwig just blinked away those thoughts and answered the question. "My bruder, the Frenchmen, and Antonio always go off to cause trouble somewhere, and Arthur and Alfred go off to one of their houses. That leaves Kiku and me to clean up after them. And I don't even know why I'm surprised, but why are you in a fountain?"

Feliciano's pout returned and he threw his head back. "My bag magically appeared out here! I don't know why! The tooth fairy must have done it because she's mad the last one didn't come out naturally and Lovino punched it out, but that's not my faul-!"

Feliciano lifted his head back up when he heard water movement. He cocked his head to the side curiously as he watched Ludwig wade into the water, socks and shoes abandoned on the concrete path.

"Don't make me regret helping you.." The German mumbled.

Feliciano broke into his infamous smiles and saluted- with the correct hand this time.

They proceeded to pick up the floating and teared papers in silence when Feli broke it by saying, "I think you're a really nice guy for doing this Ludwig!"

Ludwig only pinkened slightly at the compliment and handed Feli his flood of papers. Feli happily accepted them, now letting his dress drag in the water.

Unknowingly to them, a certain blonde girl watched from the second floor window. Her hand in a fist and a scowl plastered on her face.

* * *

The next day, Lovino was once again, to his pleasure, bombarded with requests from girls to meet with him.

"Wow!" Antonio strolled up next to him, pausing to lick the ring pop on his hand. "You're way better at this than I thought you would be!"

Lovino narrowed his eyes and poked the Spaniard in the chest who innocently stuck the ring pop back in his mouth. "What? You though I wasn't going to be good at it?!"

"No Lovi! You're adorable!"

The girls around swooned and Lovino broke out into a rage of Italian words, that if the girls knew what they meant, they probably wouldn't be smiling.

Antonio smiled heartwarmingly. "Oh Lovi," he patted the younger boy's head, which only made him rant harder.

As everyone settled in, Feli set his sights on Ludwig and barreled toward him, embracing him in a hug as soon as he made it to him. Ludwig quickly pried him off himself and steadied the Italian boy by gripping his shoulders. "Feli! Can you not be crazy and energetic for one time?"

Feli just giggled and clicked his heels together. "Not today Luddy! I'm so excited, we're gonna make pasta when I get home and I looove pasta!"

Ludwig shrugged, contemplating on whether he should comment about his interest in Italian culture when someone next to him cleared their throat. "Ahem, may I talk to Feli if she's not busy?"

Ludwig glanced at Feli who smiled. "Uh, of course Natalia."

Moments later, Feli found himself seated next to Natalia on a couch and she was giving him a not-so-nice-look. He wasn't sure it was the lighting's fault this time. "Um..hi?"

Natalia held up a hand. "I'm gonna stop you there. Look, you might have fooled everyone with your air-headed cute little girl ways. But let me tell you, you're just a stupid little kid who wont last two weeks here, and Ludwig can't stand you." She glanced at her nail. "so yeah. Do us all a favor and leave."

Feli's eyebrows furrowed and it took all his might to keep the tears from falling. "W-why are you being so mean?" He sputtered out, his hands forming into frustrated fists on the couch beside him.

Noticing this small detail, Natalia fell back on the couch and kicked a cup off the table in front of them. It shattered and the room went silent, all attention on them. "Owww!" She fake cried, cupping the side of her face. "F-feli! Sh-she punched me! W-why wou-!"

 _SPLASH!_

Natalia's fake tears stopped when water began dripping down her face and red rubber fell off her head. "What the hell!" She spat.

Across the room, Alfred and Gilbert held a bucket of water balloons. Alfred aimed another, throwing it with all his force, but accidentally nailed Feli right in the chest. The Italian let out a loud whine and Alfred bit his lip and scratched his head awkwardly. "Ooops! Sorry Feli!"

Natalia sat up quickly, forgetting to cradle her supposedly injured face. "Why are you apologizing?! She punched me!"

Francis stepped forward. "Feli would _jamais_!''

Ludwig then made his way to the club's king and gave Natalia his hardest look. "Natalia, we'd appreciate it if you leave and not come back. We have no room for people like you at the Host Club."

Natalia's eyes widened, and as she watched each individual person give her the same look, she was at a loss for words. Tears ran down her embarrassed face and she bolted for the door. Lovino glared at her the whole way and muttered a "good riddance."

Kiku stepped forward and helped Feli to his feet. "There is a new set of clothes waiting for you in the other room."

So Feli was sent back to the changing rooms, and in a moment of sympathy, Ludwig stood outside the curtain. "Feli? I brought you some towels...?"

"Come in!" The voice of Feli sang.

Ludwig considered leaving them outside, but assuming the invitation meant the Italian was decent, he let himself in.

What he did not expect to see was Feli, the girl who had been working with him at the club for the past week now, in trousers and shirtless... and male!

Feliciano fiddled with the shirt in his hands and turned toward Ludwig with a smile. "Hi Ludwig!"

Ludwig froze, the towels slipping out of his hand. He then slowly stepped back and closed the curtain. He was pretty sure he didn't blink again until Feli reammerged. The small boy stepped out in the full boy's uniform, same girlish smile gracing his features.

Behind him, Ludwig's fellow host filled the room one by one. "So you finally figured it out, _mon ami?"_

"Hhah Luddy! You're all red!" Gilbert cackled and slapped his kid brother on the back.

Antonio placed his hands on his hips. "And they say I'm the oblivious one!"

"Shut up Toni! You're still number one in that department!" Gil ruffled Toni's hair.

"Ha! Thanks amigo!"

The present Brit held up his palms. "It didn't take bloody Sherlock to figure it out! It was kind of obvious!"

Alfred situated his hands behind his head. "Haaha! You were just crossdressing this whole time!"

Ludwig blinked at a loss for words. "Wait... You guys knew..?"

When everyone nodded, even his ridiculous brother, his whole face nearly caught fire.

Lovino elbowed his way around Francis and Arthur and pointed at Ludwig. "Wait you actually believed my brother was a chick?"

Ludwig held up his hands and opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out.

Feli's eyes sparkled at Ludwig and he giggled. "Oh Luddy! You're so silly! Feli is short for Feliciano!"

Ludwig had to keep himself from mentioning that everyone referred to him as a girl and he didn't bother to correct them. "Feli..ciano..?"

"Yup!" Feli chirped and the two both stood there as if they were the only ones in the room. Ludwig stared down at him in awe as Feliciano, fully dressed like a boy, smiled charmingly up at the flustered German.

Kiku cupped his chin with one hand and tucked his laptop under the other. A smile pulled at his lips, and realizing he had to be the designated narrator he said, "Could this be the start of love?"

Only Alfred seemed to notice and he grinned a, "Did you say something buddy?"

Kiku smiled and shook his head. Alfred accepted it rather quickly and snapped his attention back at the brothers. He pointed at Lovino and shouted, "WAIT! Are you a real boy?"

Lovino's jaw dropped and deep pink splashed across his face. "Of course I am you dumb

American!"

Francis snapped his fingers and the rest of his trio appeared at his sides. "Let's check."

Lovino's eyes widened and he shrieked, "NO!" his voice nearly cracking. He pushed between Feli and Ludwig, breaking their trances, and hid behind them.

Ludwig glanced down as his and Feli's arms brushed.

"Come on Lovi!" Toni whined, trying to peek around Ludwig's large frame. "Can we at least see what you look like in a dress?"

In response, all he got were two middle fingers.

* * *

 **Yup, I should be working on 'Kind of Homo' but...**

 **Anyway, I just finished AP testing and school is almost out so hopefully I'll update more. This might be a one shot depending on the reactions i get, but I actually was really excited to post this.**

 **This took forever though. And I know Natalia isn't obsessed with Ludwig but whatever lol. Hopefully if I continue this Ivan will come him.**

 **Favorite and review!**

 **~Iwilldrinkthiscoffee**

 **5/13/17**


	2. Chapter 2

**chapter Two: _The Job of a High School Host_**

.

.

"Fuck this shit I cannot be late for another meeting!" Lovino hissed under his breath as he bolted down the hall toward the abandoned classroom. He kicked the door as soon as he reached his destination. Dragging his backpack behind him he stomped in and was most definitely not prepared for what he saw.

Sure, after two weeks of being a Host Club member he got relatively used to the strange themes the club would portray, but when Antonio bounced over toward him in a red uniform with a name tag and apron, he immediately lost all hope in the idiots he worked for.

"Why the hell are you dressed like a McDonald's employee? I mean, you look like a fucking slob! And how is the whole room transformed? It looks—smells like diabetes in here!"

Antonio chuckled and ruffled his hair then handed Lovino his uniform. "Well, we all get days to choose the theme and today was Alfred's choice!"

Lovino raised a brow as he took off his uniform jacket and flung it at Antonio, who clumsily caught it. That left him in his tank top before he pulled on the rest of the uniform. "So out of all the places in the world he could have chosen, he picked a disgusting fast food joint? "

Antonio shrugged and swung Lovino's coat onto his shoulder. "Well, one time I chose a garden for my theme day. There were fruits and vegetables everywhere!"

For a moment, Lovino stood there with his cheeks puffed out and his eyes narrowed, overall looking completely adorable in Antonio's opinion. "That sounds like the dumbest thing ever."

The Spaniard sesawed his hands. "Well, it did get a little messy," he chuckled. "I don't think most of the girls got into it.."

Lovino shook his head and tied the apron around his waist. "How the fuck do you even manage all of this?"

Antonio bit his lip to suppress a grin and glanced around the room. He leaned toward the the other boy and cupped his hands around his mouth. "I'm going to tell you a little secret, okay?"

Lovino raised a brow and pushed the boy's face so it was an arm length away, but his hand remained where it was. "Well come on bastard, I don't have all day!"

Antonio smiled and clasped his hands like an excited child. "Kiku does it! We come up with a game plan one day, he makes a few phone calls, and BAM! It's done! I have no clue how he does it, but he is so mysterious!"

The Italian scowled at the idiocy of his senior and dropped his hand back to his side, before directing his attention across the room at the mentioned Japanese member.

He furrowed his brows and cocked his head to the side when he noticed Kiku was holding his iPhone and snapping pictures at an alarming rate, all huddled in the corner. "Ok, what the hell is he doing?"

Antonio shrugged and patted Lovino on the back. "We actually have no idea!"

Lovino muttered a, "That's fucking creepy," under his breath and snatched back his jacket. He stomped toward the closet area where they toss their regular clothes and ignored the fact Antonio was following him, as he seemed to do for the last two weeks.

He tossed his clothing on the pile and turned back toward the room. Alfred and Arthur were the closest to him, them both sitting back to back, two girls accompanying both boys on each side.

Arthur had his arms crossed tightly in front of him and his face was very red. "Alfred, I swear you need to bloody shut up right now."

Alfred chuckled and patted his friend's head as the girls giggled. "Oh Artie, so uptight. You know, girls, he wasn't always like this!"

The girls' eyes lit up the same time Arthur's darkened. "What did he used to act like?"

"He used to always beg me to play tea party with him!"

"No I did not!"

Alfred bit down on his tongue in a smile. "Oh yeah, he was always like 'Alfie come play tea time with me!'"

The girls cooed and Arthur turned around on the couch so he sitting on his knees. Alfred was already facing him so they were now nose-to-nose. "Alfred you are the last person I would want to have tea with!"

Alfred poked his nose. "But I am telling the truth!" He spoke cheerfully.

"Well, you were lousy at it anyway," the Brit mumbled and turned away, his face flushed.

"So you admit it!"

"No!"

Lovino rolled his eyes and turned his attention to Gilbert who was flexing his muscles and had his legs propped up on the coffee table in front of him. "Yeah, I work out just about every morning, because I'm awesome!"

One of the girl's eyes widened in awe and she scooted a bit closer to him. "Isn't that a lot of work though?"

The German shrugged like it was no big deal. "True Awesome can stand up against any challenge!" He kissed his bicep and the girls cheered. "Plus I have my little buddy! Yo Gilbird!"

Said bird looked up from where it was perched on top of the bird cage and flew over, before nesting in Gilbert's unruly hair.

Lovino ignored the stupid yellow bird and his eyes briefly grazed over his idiot brother, all done up in a cute yellow and red dress with the McDonald's logo on the apron. The girls don't even wear those kind of uniforms at the restaurant, so what the actual fuck?

Ignoring that, Lovino noted how the girls all huddled closer together and talked in hushed voices with Feliciano. Dumbass girl gossip—the only explanation. It was almost funny, two weeks had gone by, and Feli still had yet to attract boys to the Host Club. What a joke, Lovino thought.

Once again, he turned to the next group, which happened to be the Potato Bastard himself. Through the past weeks, the older Italian still hadn't grown to like him, which was hilarious considering how Feliciano wouldn't _shut up about him._

As of right now, Ludwig was sitting with one other girl who was about a quarter of his size. She had shoulder length light blonde hair that framed her face and she sat with straight posture and with her hands in her lap. She spoke happily to Ludwig with wide green eyes, and he returned the gesture with a fond smile.

Lovino huffed and crossed his arms, rolling his eyes away from the German and onto the Spaniard next to him. Who so happened to be smirking at him from where he stood with his arms behind his back.

"What bastard?!"

Antonio couldn't keep up the smug act so he broke into a cheerful grin. "Nothing! You were just staring at Ludwig _amigo_!"

Lovino's face formed its regular scowl, but before he could get a word out, his doppelganger trotted over and placed both his hands on his brother's shoulders. "Hi Lovi!"

"Screw off _idiota_!" The older Vargas growled, pushing him off him.

Toni ignored the encounter and waved a hand. " _Hola_ Feli!"

Feli bounced on the balls of his feet. "Hi Toni! How's everything going? Club today had been so much fun!" He twirled in his fancy dress, making Antonio drop his face in his hands from a cuteness overload. Lovino _tched_ and turned his gaze away. But forgetting his question, Feliciano turned his sights onto Ludwig and asked, "who is that with Ludwig?"

When Antonio saw who was being referred to, his eyes lit up. "That's Lilly! She is Ludwig's and Gilbert's cousin. She's a freshmen too, so now that she attends she likes to come visit us sometimes." He propped his arms up behind his head and adjusted his stance. "She is also the sweetest girl you'll ever meet!"

Feliciano nodded and turned back to the pair. They stood up and Lilly stepped forward to give her older cousin a hug. The top of her head only reached his chest and he patted her affectionately. Feliciano watched in awe at how Ludwig's face soften at the girl.

The both began toward the exit, but Feliciano couldn't just let them get away! So he intercepted them by jumping in front of Ludwig. "Hi Ludwig!"

Ludwig frowned and gestured to the floor. "You're lucky we didn't run you over!"

Feli waved his group member off and turned to the girl beside him. "Hi Lilly! You're very cute! I'm Feli!"

Lilly's whole face flushed and she fiddled with her hands. "Thank you. You're very pretty Miss Feli."

"So nice ~!" The young Italian giggled and patted her head.

She greeted Antonio who reacted similarly to Feli, then turned her attention to the last Host among them.

"You must be Flavio, it's very nice to meet you," she said politely with a shy smile.

Antonio muffled a giggle and spared a glance at Lovino, who was trying to suppress a scowl. "It s Lovino.." He mumbled.

Lilly's eyes widened and her face turned a light shade of pink. She began blabbering out words in a language the others couldn't quite understand, other than Ludwig, and dropped her head so her hair covered her face. "I'm sorry! Gilbert told me—!"

Lovino held up a hand. "It's okay..." He flushed awkwardly as well.

She bit her lip and patted Ludwig's arm one last time before hurrying toward the door. Ludwig gave Lovino a side look. "Well, at the very least... Thank you for not cursing at her."

Lovino straightened up and snapped his head toward him. "Listen here bastard—!"

"LILLY PAD! "

The four boys turned to a noisy area just in time to catch Gilbert push his way through a mob of girls and embrace Lilly so hard, she was lucky her eyeballs were still intact.

"Lilly! How could you sneak in here and only visit Luddy!? I knows he's adorable but you're adorable too and I want you for myself!" The albino whined as he rubbed his cheek affectionately on top of her hair.

All the girls in the room giggled as the other members laughed at Ludwig's expense. He blushed in agitation as Feli laughed along with them and clung to his arm.

Lilly struggled in his grasp but giggled awkwardly. "Sorry Gilly, you just looked a little busy and I would hate to bug you."

Gilbert picked her up and swung her in a circle causing her dress to flutter. "Oh you could never bug me!"

Lilly hugged back but said, "I love you too! But I actually have to go meet Vash!"

Gilbert's face dropped into a frown and he set her back on the floor slowly. He placed his hands on her shoulders and said in a serious tone, "That boyfriend of yours? I don't like him."

Lilly blushed and looked at the floor. "I'm sorry."

Gilbert noted her dampened mood and sighed. "Is he awesome?"

She perked up and flashed him a gorgeous smile. "Yes! Very awesome!"

Gilbert grinned and poked her nose. "Not as awesome as me though!" He then patted her back and playfully shoved her out the door.

He wiped the invisible dust off his hands and turned back toward the room with a satisfied look on his face. Antonio began clapping and the rest of the room quickly followed. Francis danced to the front and collapsed on the German's shoulder. "That was beautiful!"

Gilbert cackled and shoved him on the couch, causing Francis to cry out, "My hair!"

Completely ignoring Feliciano who was still holding onto him, Ludwig crossed his arms. "Brother has to stop being a total idiot..." He muttered.

Lovino scowled and glanced at Feli who was humming to himself. "That makes two of us."

Antonio bounced on his feet and draped and arm around the scowling Italian. "Awe! You're bonding!"

Lovino flicked him in the head and stomped away. Antonio, like normal, followed behind him.

Feliciano dropped his hand to his side and looked up at Ludwig. "I think it's nice Gil cares enough to be excited."

Ludwig glanced between his brother and Feliciano before raising an eyebrow and nodding. "Well, being overly loud and excited is your specialty."

Feli shrugged and fixed his apron. "We can't all be big and serious like you Ludwig!"

The German blinked. "Hm. Maybe you should try it Feliciano." He deadpaned before walking back toward his designated area. Noting that most of his regulars had already scampered off, Feli followed and plopped down on the couch next to him. He sat up on his knees and said—

"I really like it when you call me Feliciano."

Ludwig paused from where he was wiping up the coffee table. "It's your name?"

Feli nodded matter of factly. "Yeah, but Alfred and Toni and all of them call me Feli! You don't!"

Ludwig shook his head and furrowed his eyebrows. "Kiku calls you Feliciano."

The younger Italian sat back on his butt and wrapped his arms around his knees. "Yeah, but it's different when you say it!"

Ludwig blinked and shook his head, then continued to clean the table off. "I don't get you."

Feli giggled and started bobbing his head back and forth. For a few minutes that's all there was— the sound of humming, cleaning, chatter, and the clanking of cups on saucers.

Eventually, Francis ruined the moment of peace Ludwig had by standing up and clearing his throat rather loudy. "Excuse me everyone! Ladies! I would just like to let everyone know, that next week there will be a ball held by the Host Club, and every young lady is invited!"

"Ooo a ball!?" Just about every person in the room shouted, including Feliciano. He turned to Ludwig and bounced in place. "That sounds like so much fun! What kind of menu will there be? And the dress code? And the music? Oh! And Ludwig—!"

"I don't know! I don't attend the parties!" Ludwig snapped before tossing the cloth in his hands back on the table in annoyance.

Feliciano jumped in shock at his sudden outburst and widened his eyes. "I'm sorry! I'm really really sorry Ludwig! I didn't realize I was offending you and sometimes I just say random stuff! Lovi tells me all the time I talk too much but to be completely honest I just really like telling stories! There's one I know about the tomato box fairy—!"

Feliciano stopped mid-sentence since a large, firm hand was placed on his head to silence him. "Just stop talking, yeah?"

Feliciano blinked and nodded, allowing the German to remove his hand. "But how come you never go to any of the parties?"

The blonde man sighed. "Well—"

"Excuse me, Ludwig?" An unfamiliar female voice cut in.

Both boys turned their heads at the calling. "Oh, hello Elizabeta."

Feli stood up, and despite being right in front of the brunette girl, he waved enthusiastically. "Hi Miss Elizabeta!"

She smiled. "You must be Feli," she said in her thick Hungarian accent. "I've heard a lot about you. "

Feli's jaw dropped. "You have?"

Elizabeta giggled. "Of course! A girl Host? More power to the women, huh?" She glanced at Ludwig and winked while Feliciano hummed in agreement.

Ludwig cocked his head to the side slightly. He still wasn't completely sure why they had to keep Feliciano's gender a secret. He was a boy, he identified as a boy, but everyone besides the Host Club referred to him as a girl. Francis did say they had to keep his true identity a secret considering the fact word got around that there was a female Host. But to Ludwig's astonishment, Feliciano didn't care in the slightest that he had to play the female role. If Ludwig was in the situation, he was pretty sure he would lose his mind and the secret would spill.

"Anyways," Elizabeta cleared her throat and turned to Ludwig. "Look, I know I'm not a regular guest here but I was wondering if—!"

"WHO LET HER IN HERE?!"

* * *

"I'm sorry Gilbert, but you're going to have to fix that table. I would feel a little embarrassed to call the repair man again." Kiku spoke calmly as he sat at the work table with his hands in his laps.

The albino groaned and threw another stool over his head. "I just don't get why Elizabeta is invited to the ball!"

Arthur tapped his fingers on the table with one hand and lazily propped his head up with the other. "Would you stop being a hothead and help us party plan?"

Feli and Lovino glanced at each other before poking their heads out from behind either side of Ludwig, where they had been hiding in fear of the enraged Gilbert. They stared with wide eyes as Gilbert tossed a broom.

"And we got in trouble for breaking a damn vase?" Lovino whispered out of the side of his mouth.

Alfred shrugged and shoved a piece of cake in his mouth. Francis looked at him in a distasteful manner, but he decided to ignore it. "Oh yeah, Gilbert is like this a lot dude."

" _Si_ he is!" Toni agreed with so much optimism that you could almost see the the little pink flowers floating around his head.

Deciding that enough was enough and that his brother was overreacting, Ludwig furrowed his brows and walked over. With out at much as warning, Ludwig grabbed Gilbert by the back of the shirt and forcefully dragged him to the rest of the group.

Lovino, at seeing the High and Mighty Mischievous Host getting owned by his brother, laughed out loud.

Ludwig stood there, still holding his upset brother by the collar. Feliciano glanced up at him and cocked his head to the side. "I don't get it," he started. " Elizabeta is very pretty. Why don't you want her to go? "

Gilbert's pasty face quite noticing turned a light shade of pink. Arthur sat up straighter and smirked. "It's because she beat him up in front of the whole school."

Alfred tossed his plate to the side and slammed his hand on the table as Antonio and Francis leaned on each in heaps of giggles. "Hahahah yeah! He had two black eyes and he actually cried!"

Gilbert shrugged Ludwig off him and stood up straight. He pointed an accusing finger at Alfred and yelled, "I'M WAY TOO AWESOME FOR THAT TO BE TRUE!"

The others all laughed at his expense as Ludwig rolled his eyes. Arthur locked eyes with Kiku for a moment and they both smiled. "Well, actually we got it on video," the Brit shrugged.

"I'LL DESTROY IT!"

But before Gilbert could even attempt to attack the smaller blonde, Ludwig had planted his fist in his brother's gut. As Gilbert groaned and flopped forward, Ludwig grabbed him by the back of the shirt and looked to Francis. "We can continue." He said calmly .

Francis tapped his lips, and by the smirk on his face, he seemed amused by all this. "Well in the Host Club we agree to help keep all girls happy. That includes Elizabeta."

From where he was still hunched over, Gilbert groaned. "Are we sure she is even a girl?"

Alfred waved his hand and fixed his glasses. "Of course she is! Have you seen those knockers of hers?"

Arthur sent a glare at his childhood friend but quickly turned his attention at the newcomers of the club. "Speaking of that... I'm curious, how did you manage to get a girls uniform instead of a boys one Feli?"

Lovino's face turned beat red and turned his head away as Feliciano jumped out of his chair and said, "Lovino accidentally ordered the wrong one for me!"

Francis, still amused by the situation, snaked an arm around the older Italian' s shoulder. "Oh, so it's Lovino's fault?" Even Gilbert was cackling again .

Lovino shrink down a little bit. "No! That bastard should have ordered his own uniform then!"

Antonio skipped over and patted the blushing Lovino's head. "It's okay Lovi! We all make mistakes!"

Lovino puffed out his cheeks as Kiku cleared his throat and politely raised a hand. "Back to the subject of the ball..."

"Of course!" Francis' face lit up as he removed his arm and tossed Lovino to the side, causing him to stumble to the back of the group.

For a couple seconds Lovino silently cursed to himself. Cursed the the group, cursed Francis, and cursed himself for being shorter than the average host.

Quickly noting they were missing someone, Antonio glanced over his shoulder. They met eyes for a moment and the Spaniard gave him a half smile and awkwardly laughed before offering a place next to him.

Lovino mocked his laughter for a moment before flipping him the bird and taking the spot anyway. Antonio smiled despite the Italian's sour attitude.

Ludwig cleared his throat. "Anyway, Kiku and I have made sure everything is accounted for, so the rest of you—"

"Not so fast Luddy!" The King of the Club interrupted as he strolled over toward the German. "You can't sit this one out!"

Ludwig frowned. "What."

"That's right!" Francis continued as he ran his fingers through his wavy blonde hair. "You are apart of this group for a reason, and we all have to act like a team. If you never show up to these events, what will our guests think? They'll think you don't even like being in the Club!"

Ludwig squinted his eyes. "Well—"

"The decision is made!" Francis declared, thrusting a finger in the air. "You are to attend the ball!"

Looking bored again, Arthur crossed his arms. "That means the big oaf will have to learn how to dance."

Alfred swatted the Brit's shoulder. "Leave Ludwig alone, you can't dance either Artie!" he teased.

Arthur flushed and he sat up straighter. "Well I— I can kind of.. Well— if I really tried..." He stuttered out.

Francis stroked his stubbly chin and directed his eyes at the ceiling. Sensing the albino try to retreat, Francis reached behind him and grabbed his sleeve before he could sneak away. "Well, Gil can't dance either. And we have all seen his atrocious dance moves."

"Hey, my moves are AWESOME!"

Ignoring Gilbert and trusting he wouldn't try and escape again, Francis clapped his hands. "Okay. Who here can dance?"

Francis and Antonio were the first to throw their hands in the air, quickly followed by an enthusiastic Feli. Lovino smirked and raised his hand with the other one on his hip. Alfred raised his too with a pearly smile on his face.

Arthur pointed up his nose and threw up his hands. "Alfred! Dabbing does not count!"

"Oh come on! It counts for something!"

The two broke out into a brief argument. Kiku sat back in his seat and stayed quiet. Considering he and Ludwig were the only reasons anything got done there, no one really gave him a hard time about these things. Unfortunately, Ludwig didn't get the same leeway.

Francis pointed at the three boys. Arthur looked annoyed, Ludwig looked unamused, and Gilbert actually looked terrified. "We'll make it our priority to teach you klutzs how to dance!"

* * *

"WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE?!" Gilbert found himself screaming again, distressingly jabbing a finger in Elizabeta's direction.

It was a new day and after Club hours, so they were all standing before Francis in an attempt to learn how to dance. Among them stood Elizabeta with her arms crossed and an unattractive scowl on her face.

"Gilbert, would you please shut up?"

Francis smiled gratefully at her. "It has come to my attention that Elizabeta cannot dance either. So we are going to help her! Everyone, get with your partners I assigned earlier!"

Arthur narrowed his eyes as Francis approached. He begrudgingly took the hand that he was offered and Francis smirked. He glanced over his shoulder to make sure everyone was with their partner. Feli and Ludwig, Lovino and Elizabeta, Gilbert and Antonio. He then winked at Alfred and Kiku who sat off to the side, signaling them to start the music.

Francis lead Arthur, who stumbled around for a few moments, before kind of getting the hang of it. Being that he needed to learn how to dance as the male, his hand rested at Francis' waist, which made him completely uncomfortable.

"Well you're not as bad as I thought you would be," Francis chuckled.

"Shut up." Arthur muttered before he glanced over in Alfred's direction. The American laughed and gave him a thumbs up, causing the Brit to mouth, 'screw you'.

He then turned to his dance partner. "I still don't get why Alfred doesn't need to practice. He can't dance to save his life."

Francis clicked his tongue and chuckled. "Childhood friends, huh? You don't know everything about him apparently! We were hanging out before class today and he proved to me that he really can dance. He's actually quite fabulous."

Arthur frowned and drew his head farther back. "Why were you guys together?"

Francis tried spinning Arthur, despite acting as the female. "Why? Jealous? Would you rather be his partner? Do I not satisfy you enough, beautiful?" He teased.

"Shut up frog!"

.

Across the room, Ludwig and Feliciano were struggling to dance at a synchronized pace.

"Ludwig! You dance like you have two left feet!"

Ludwig rolled his eyes and avoided stepping on the smaller boy's feet. "Well other things are higher priorities than dancing!"

"Ooo like what!?"

The blonde took a deep breath. "School...and running the Club.. And taking care of my dogs.."

Feliciano's eyes lit up and he tighten his grip on his partner's shoulder. "Oh yeah I heard about your dogs! How many do you have? What are their names?"

Ludwig's face visibly perked up and a smile twitched at his lips. Feli's heart did a weird flip-flop thing. "Oh, well I have three. Blackie is a German Shepherd, Berlitz is a Dobberman, and Aster is a Hovawart. And I got them all when I was twelve."

Feli stuck his leg out. "Ohhh! Well I have a pet kitty cat! His name is Pookie!"

Ludwig awkwardly attempted to spin Feliciano. "Cats are nice, but dogs are statistically better."

Feli nodded. "How do you say 'dog's in German?"

" _Hunde_."

The Italian giggled. "Haha! It sounds funny! Your accent!"

"What!" Ludwig frowned. "My accent is not funny!"

"Just a little bit!"

"No!"

"Ahh ok, sorry!" Feliciano relented and bonked his head on Ludwig's chest.

Ludwig sighed, "Yeah. Whatever Feliciano."

.

A few feet away, Gilbert was once again complaining. "This is so unawesome! I hate dancing with you Toni!"

Antonio stared directly in Gilbert's eyes, since their line of vision was pretty much the same. He cocked his head to the side. "Why?"

"Because you suck!" He groaned and accidentally stepped on Toni's foot for the umpteenth time. "And holding you like a girl is weird!"

"But Gil! Remember that time you kissed me!"

Gilbert threw his head back. "Yeah that was different! We were practicing!"

"This is practice too!" Antonio whined back.

Gilbert shrugged and wrapped his arms around Toni so they were more like slow dancing. He propped his chin on his partner's shoulder and said, "but I wish I got to partner with Feli! He is so cute."

Antonio nodded cheerfully and tightened his arms around Gilbert. He knew his friend was getting tired and this was the easiest way to rest without getting scolded by their leader. "Yeah! Ludwig is lucky!"

Suddenly, the both of them felt a shove and went toppling over. They landed in an awkward position on the floor.

"Ouchy!" Antonio mumbled as he rubbed his head.

"Yo, what gives!?" Gilbert shouted and pushed the Spaniard off him.

Lovino stood by with his hands on his hips. "Ohhh! I'm so sorry!" He said sarcastically. "I didn't see you guys there!" He rolled his eyes and looked away.

Elizabeta stood by with her hand over her mouth. "Oh, I'm sorry! We really didn't see you guys, we must have just bumped you guys during the spin!"

Antonio hopped up and dusted himself off. "Hey it's okay _amigos_! It happens!"

Gilbert jumped up as well. "I bet you did it on purpose!" He pointed at the Hungarian.

"I did not!"

Lovino watched from the side with an indifferent face. Well, of course he did it on purpose! He was so fucking tired of hearing those morons go on about Feli! Either way, he was off the hook for causing this problem now. Though, he did feel a bit bad for framing Elizabeta.

As the other two almost started another wresting match, much to Alfred's amusement, Francis stepped in and pulled Gilbert away from the angry girl. "How about we take a break for awhile?"

The two glared at each other, and before Gilbert could make some jackass comment, Elizabeta stomped away and sat down with Lovino.

Noting her angered aura, and still a bit embarrassed about what he just pulled, Lovino coughed into the crook of his arm. "Umm, you were actually really good. You must be a quick learner."

She shrugged and smiled at him. "Well you're actually a very good teacher. Where did you learn to dance like that?"

Lovino leaned back and held himself up with his hands. "Just learned when I was a kid I guess? My grandpa made sure Feli and I knew how."

She nodded. "Speaking of Feli.." Lovino instantly lowered his head and looked away, his mood already dampened. Elizabeta didn't seem to notice so she continued, "How does Feli like being a Host? I mean, with all the other guys?"

Lovino shrugged and lifted his foot up onto the seat to fix his shoelace. "Whatever I guess? Feli is a slut for this kind of attention."

"Really? "

"Yeahhh..." Lovino dralled out, raising an eyebrow and turning toward her. "That brings the topic back to you.. If you hate everyone in the club, why the hell waste your time here?"

Elizabeta drew her back and let out an exaggerated gasp. "I don't hate everyone here! I am actually great friends with Kiku and I actually really like Ludwig!"

Lovino stuck out his tongue. "Ew. Why Ludwig?"

The Hungarian placed her finger to her chin and glanced at the ceiling with a smile. "Oh, well he is actually very kind although he does look a bit scary on the outside. He helps me out quite a bit and he's much more polite than just about any other man I've met!"

The Italian's jaw dropped. He was about to bring it to her attention that _he was a man too_! But she was still talking.

"And I also really like Arthur and Alfred, they're very sweet too! And if I'm completely honest with you, I adore Antonio too. Despite the fact he is friends with Francis and Gilbert... Now those two! I don't care if Francis is the one who allowed me in here, he is still such scum!"

Lovino's face remained blank. "I'm sorry I'm still hung up on how you like Lud— wait a minute you like Antonio?" He blinked.

Elizabeta kind of shrugged and sesawed her hands. "Well, I don't get why he is friends with those two morons but he is actually adorab—!"

"Excuse me Kiku, but these are the music pieces I picked out at your request. I just wanted to check over them with you to make sure they are suitable."

At the sound of the new voice, Elizabeta's face paled and she dropped her gaze to her lap. Lovino scowled and turned his attention to where the voice was coming from.

"Oh yes, Roderich. I think these are perfect." Kiku bowed slightly. "Thank you for the work you put in looking for these."

"My pleasure," the squeaky clean looking man said. He hair was combed over with a single cow lick sticking up and had a pair of glasses sitting on his nose.

Lovino glanced back at Elizabeta who looked highly uncomfortable. He was debating whether he should place a comforting hand on her back when Feli, so rudely, skipped over to Kiku and the newcomer.

"Ooooo what's in the box? Fancy teacups or something?!"

Roderich huffed and rolled his eyes. "No, they are most certainly not. They are some of the most prized music pieces in the world. I would hate for my copy to get wrinkled or damaged in any way."

Kiku nodded and held the box firmly. "Mr. Roderich here was willing enough to pick out a nice set of classical music for us for the ball next week. He is quite amazing behind a piano."

Next to him, Lovino noticed Elizabeta tighten her fingers around the edge of her seat. She then quickly but elegantly stood up and forced a smile on her face. "He always has been great. The music room was always his favorite place to reside," she said, with a steady voice.

This caught the attention of everyone in the room. Roderich's eyes widened at the sight of her and he looked like a fish gasping for air. With his flushed face, he cleared his throat and nodded his head toward her. "Well, it is very good to see you again Elizabeta." He looked back to Kiku. "And I'm glad you like the choices. I'll be going now." He quickly excused himself after that.

After a brief silent moment Lovino held up both his hands. "Well that wasn't fucking awkward at all."

A few chuckles were heard about the room and Feli cocked his head. "Wait, so do you guys know each other?" He looked at Elizabeta.

Her face turned a shade darker and she started waving her arms around frantically. "Ahhh no! I've never seen him in my life where do you get that idea!? Sorry, I think, I better go! See ya!" She, just like Roderich, let herself out of the room but in a more hurried manner.

When the door slammed shut, Gilbert broke out into his famous laughter. Having pity on the clueless Italians, Ludwig stepped forward so he was standing in front of Feli. "Well, weirdly enough, Elizabeta and Roderich are actually engaged.."

"Engaged? To each other?" Feliciano gasped.

With a deadpan expression Ludwig nodded.

"Then why aren't they happy looking! If I was engaged, I would be the most happiest person in the world!"

Gilbert snickered at that but Antonio placed a hand on his face and continued the story. "Actually, they were both the best of friends while growing up.. But I guess, Roderich had to leave for a while.. And they found out they were betrothed to each other once he came back.. Things have been weird since I guess?"

Arthur crossed his arms and pointed up his nose. "Well, I didn't know a bloody thing about any of that."

Alfred patted his head. "That's because you are completely out of the loop my friend!"

Arthur scolwed. "That's because everyone is always going on about such nonsense!"

Francis rolled his eyes. "Well, then they aren't much different from you."

Arthur scoffed.

"Anyways," Francis continued as he teared his eyes away from the blonde. "We must help Elizabeta and Roderich!"

* * *

"Bonjour everybody! Thank you all for attending the ball and I would like to inform everyone that we will be hosting a dance competition and whichever young lady wins, gets a special kiss from _moi_ at the end of the night!"

The room erupted in cheers and Francis lead himself down the steps to go flirt with a group of girls during the time they had.

Lovino stood off to the side, his eyes taking in all the details of the room. Gilbert and Arthur both danced with lovely girls, though they both looked a bit clumsy. (Gilbert looked much more confident than Arthur though.) Alfred swept a girl off her feet and and to his annoyance, Antonio was also spinning some girl around with a dumb smile on his face.

Kiku stood on the balcony and took another round of pictures on his phone. Finally Lovino noticed Ludwig and Feliciano who stood next to each other near the entrance. The last of the guests had finally arrived, so Feli tugged on the German's arm and began leading him to the dance floor.

Lovino furrowed his eyebrows and pulled up his sleeve, already on his way to give them a piece of his mind, when someone snagged his arm. He met eyes with Elizabeta and he blinked in confusion.

"Want to dance with me Lovino?"

Lovino glanced over his shoulder at the pair who were just awkwardly standing in the middle of the floor rather than dancing. He sighed. "Sure."

They both took their place among the crowd and Lovino placed his hand on her waist. "Are you sure you remember how to do this? I haven't seen you in the last few days."

Elizabeta shrugged and smiled. "Well—!" She began, before something ran between the pair causing them to break apart. "DAMNIT GILBERT!" She shrieked across the loud room as the albino cackled and dragged the distressed Italian away. She huffed and kicked the floor where Lovino was previously standing.

Huddled in the club room, the Host Club set off to work. Lovino, who was shoved in a chair, forced into a dress, and now has three sets of hands tending to him, was not amused. "I still don't get why I have to be the girl when Feli is the one who cross-dresses!"

"Because he has seen Feli already! We need a new girl!" Francis shot back, sticking his tongue out in concentration as he adjusted the younger boy's wig.

Antonio took a step back and his eyes lit up. "Wow Lovi! You look really pretty! If you were an actual girl I would totally date you!"

Lovino stood up and looked beyond pissed. "Yeah, fuck off before I shove my heel up your ass!" He kicked his dress up to showcase his shiny black shoes before pushing the door open and storming out.

Antonio slapped his cheeks. "So precious.."

.

Now down the hallway, Lovino was still muttering to himself. Dropping serious profanity and going on and on about how he was so mistreated by these moronic Club members. Once he reached the door he knew he would inevitably have to walk into, he placed a hand on his heart and took a few deep breaths. He listened to the beautiful music escape through the crack under the door. With on last prayer, Lovino adjusted the dress straps and poked his head through the door.

He caught Roderich's attention rather quickly and the young musician closed the piano and stood up. "So you wrote the letter?"

Lovino forced himself not to scowl. He cleared his throat and spoke in a higher voice. "Ummm.. What letter?"

Roderich looked unamused but pulled the neatly folded piece of paper out of his pocket. He adjusted his glasses and began reading in a monotone voice, " _'Oh Roderich, I am so in love with you, ever since I saw how sexy you looked playing the piano. Ah! So hot'_ — the next part is so vulgar I can't even read it out loud!"

Lovino cringed when he thought of the only three knuckleheads who could have wrote that. "Yeah.. That's me." He silently seethed.

Roderich clicked his tongue and tucked the paper back into his pocket. "Well despite your grammatical errors and your inappropriate behavior for a lady, you still seem..." He struggled for a word. "Charming...somehow. But I'm sorry to say, I have feelings for someone else."

Playing along, Lovino raised a brow and crossed his arms. "Who is he?"

"She's a woman!"

"Oh right! She—yeah."

Roderich shook his head in disapproval but answered the question anyway. "Elizabeta Hedervary. We grew up together, but then I left her to attend the best music school in the country! I left her heart broken, and now, I'm pretty sure she hates me."

Lovino shrugged. "You're probably right." Roderich glared at him and he raised his arms in a surrendering way. "I'm just saying, if you care so much, stop being a loser and go tell her!"

The dark haired musician raised a brow and tapped his finger on the piano. "Are you sure you really liked me the way the letter said you did?"

Lovino shrugged and awkwardly adjusted him dress. He was definitely not as good at this as Feli was.

.

"Come on Liza it won't be that bad!" Alfred assured the girl he was dragging down the dark hall.

"Seriously, what's the worse that could happen?" Arthur threw out there as he lagged behind the other two.

She pulled her hand back and rubbed it awkwardly. "He hates me!" She claimed for the tenth time within the last five minutes.

"You'll never really know, unless you talk to him!" Alfred patted her back reassuringly. She blushed deeply but finally relented with a nod. She took a deep breath and stepped toward the door. When she pushed it open, and caught sight of her beloved with an unfamiliar face, she could pinpoint the exact moment her heart cracked in two.

The two occupying the room snapped their heads toward her and she fisted her hands at her sides as she hesitantly stepped back. "I-I'm sorry!" She stammered before slamming the door and running the rest of the way down the hall.

"Elizabeta!" Roderich called, the loudest anyone had ever heard him spoken. He ran around Lovino and followed her.

Catching sight of the two blondes outside the door, Lovino pulled off his wig in an annoyed fashion. "Didn't we just make things worse?"

Arthur leaned against the wall and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, this is ridiculous."

Alfred shrugged and stared down the hallway with his arms propped up behind his head. "Yeah, but look on the bright side dudes! He ran after her! Which I think is what Francis predicted would happen."

The two angry boys exchanged looks. Arthur shook his head. "That frog actually had a plan besides dressing Lovino in drag? I didn't think his mind could process that much!"

.

Elizabeta knew she should have expected that. She knew he hated her, but for some reason, she could never hate him. She wiped the angry years that rushed down her face on her sleeve and pushed past a group of people who shouted all sorts of things at her.

She didn't care, she just had to get away from Roderich who was currently— she stopped in her tracks as she felt someone aggressively grab her arm. She turned toward him and green eyes met violet. His face looked sad and soft and she wasn't sure how to react. He cleared his throat, and Elizabeta longed to hear him say her name again. But the moment was quickly disrupted when a spot light was shined on them, startling Roderich into releasing her arm.

"This dance is dedicated to this lovely couple!" Francis' thick french accent boomed through the speakers.

The crowd began cheering and Roderich hesitantly held a hand out to the brunette. "Can I have this dance?"

She stared at his outstretched hand before whispering, "You may."

The music started up and the two began moving with the music, Elizabeta following his lead as Lovino taught her.

"You are a much better dancer than I remember," he remarked.

Elizabeta smiled. "Things do change."

Roderich nodded and kept his eyes on her. "But not my feelings for you."

Her face pinkened and she blinked up at him.

"I have.. Always loved you Elizabeta. And I still do."

Her face lit up at those words and she stood up on a tiptoe to place a chaste kiss on his lips. The room went crazy again as the Host Club members watched heartwarmingly from the balcony. Even Arthur and Lovino looked somewhat content. Only Gilbert still looked angered.

The music ended and applause flooded the room as Roderich and Elizabeta stood together on the center of the dance floor still entranced in each other's eyes. "Well what an exciting night!" Alfred yelled into the microphone. "So who is a better candidate than Miss Elizabeta to win the dance competition tonight?"

He ignored the several shouts of 'ME!'

"That's right! No one is! So I'm happy to announce Elizabeta as the winner tonight!" Grinning, he glanced at Francis who was fluffing up his hair and preparing for his kiss with the Hungarian.

"Anyways! Feli will be standing in for Francis!"

"WHAT!" A wild French voice pierced the air.

Feli shrugged with an agreeing smile as he hopped down the steps. Elizabeta looked to Roderich and shrugged. "Why not?" He said. "Since you know her, its no big deal."

The two of them approached each other, Feli still a few steps higher than her. Gilbert stood at the top of his stairs with Francis, who was still moping around about getting rejected, and Antonio, who was happily clicking his heels.

"What if this is Feli's first kiss?"

Despite it only being a kiss on the cheek, Gilbert's expression changed from anger to scandalized. "Feli's first kiss shouldn't be with her! It should be with me!"

With that, the albino lunged forward and pushed Feliciano to the side, but he underestimated the momentum behind his jump, because he ended up stumbling forward, straight into Elizabeta. Where the two shared the most awkward kiss imaginable.

They broke apart in less than a second, both rubbing their mouths with their sleeves. Every person in the room when nuts, besides the Club, who all stood speechless.

Elizabeta had a swirl of pinks on her face. "What the hell Gilbert!" She slapped him square across the face.

"What the helll yourself!" He retorted back and threw his arms in the air as Feliciano stood off to the side, giggling to himself.

Roderich stomped forward and held an accusing finger out at the German. "How dare you kiss my fiance?!"

Gilbert was waving his arms around like a crazy person now, and his whole face was a shade pinker. "I would never want to kiss that!"

Ludwig watched from the top balcony and face palmed. The three continued to scream at each other, and when Elizabeta whipped out a skillet from within her dress and began chasing the German around, Ludwig knew he had enough. "Idiot.." He muttered and turned around, eager to actually get out of this place.

He only had a few minutes of peace, because it was soon replaced with an Italian on his back. "Ludwig! Can I have a piggy back ride?"

With Feliciano already on his back, he knew he didn't have a choice. "Yeah, yeah, whatever." He adjusted the way he held up the other boy and determinedly headed toward the door.

Still watching the ridiculous trio down below, Arthur shook his head and glanced at his best friend. "Well, considering how much he despises her, the old bloke deserved it."

Alfred chuckled and held up a finger. "If you were in trouble and had to kiss someone you would never wanna kiss, who would it be?"

Arthur pretended to think. "Well first Francis."

The Frenchmen pouted from off to the side where he eavesdropping. "Hey!"

Ignoring him, this Brit continued, "Then probably you."

Alfred eyes widened and his face flushed. "Hey Artie! I thought we were friends!"

The two continued bickering on one side of the balcony. Antonio, still watching Feli and Ludwig ahead turned to Lovino and asked in an excited tone, "Lovi want a piggy back ride too?!"

Lovino's face was now makeup free and he ditched the dress. He spared the Spaniard a glance before walking toward the door by himself. "Fuck no." He said over his shoulder.

"Oooo I do!" Francis sang, deciding Arthur and Alfred lovers spat wasn't worth losing a free piggy back ride over. He jumped on Toni's back and the two bolted toward the door, past Lovino, and outside to find Ludwig.

Kiku walked at a steady pace until his he was side by side with Lovino. He didn't try to make conversation, he just fondly flipped through the pictures on his phone.

"So, what are those even for?" Lovino's voice asked.

The Japanese boy glanced up at him with an embarrassed smile. "Ah nothing!"

* * *

 **I have no clue what I'm doing with this story or if I am even capable of doing all the episode of OHSHC in Hetalia style but let's just see what happens..**

 **But I guess this story isn't just gonna be mostly centered around Feli like OHSHC followed Haruhi. Everyone gets time to shine cuz no one is based off any one character.**

 **Also, I don't give a crap what you ship, but AusHun and Swissliech are lovely ships so haters can go somewhere else. (Besides, the countries are not blood related, they literally just _find_ each other. So yeah, ship whatever people) **

**Updates will be slow. Very slow.**

 **~Iwilldrinkthiscoffee**

 **8/31/17**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: _Beware the Physical Exam_**

 ** _._**

 ** _._**

"Welcome to the Ouran Host Club," Francis grinned as the gates leading into the garden flung open. It was the perfect time of year and the cherry blossoms were beautiful, so they were hosting the club outside that day. The garden filled quickly and Francis worked his charm as he always did.

"These teacups, Francis, they're beautiful!" One girl with dark curls complimented as she took another sip of her tea.

"We have only the best," Francis winked as he leaned forward to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. "These are antiques from the Victorian era, and though a more French persuasion would have been my preference, these ones work perfectly." He leaned in even further to whisper the last part, "they go perfectly with your eyes..."

The girl's face flushed and she giggled behind her hand.

Not too far away, Arthur and Alfred sat side by side at a picnic table with two other girls, who were staring mesmerized at them like they were circus performers or something else completely breathtaking.

"Listen, Alfred, Kylo Ren is not what we're here to talk about!"

"Yeah but before we move on we need to sort this out!" Alfred sat up in his seat and shook his best friend's shoulder. "He deserves redemption! All heros make mistakes and need to go through some sort at crazy trauma! And lots of villains become good guys!"

Arthur furrowed his brows and let out a huff. "Yeah true. But Kylo Ren killed—!"

"AhhhH! Spoilers man!" The golden blonde quickly interrupted and swung his hand around to clasp it over the Brit's mouth. Only, while doing so, his hand grazed a cup of tea on the table in front of them, resulting in it spilling a hazardous amount on Arthur.

"Ouch! Bloody hell Alfred!" The green eyed boy shrieked as he yanked his hand up and began shaking it in a vain attempt to numb the pain.

"Ohmygoshdude are you okay!? " Alfred's face immediately took one of concern and he snatched up the other boy's hand.

"Arthur, you are okay right? Nothing too serious?" One of the girls questioned. Both of their faces were squinty with worry.

Arthur turned to both of them and gave an apologetic look. "Yes, thank you girls, I'm fine." He glanced back over at Alfred who was still gently holding his hand and looking for any sign of permanent injury. He blushed and tried to pull his hand away. "Alfred! I said I'm fine!"

"Just hold on a sec, jeez!" Alfred softly patted his hand and glanced over his shoulder at where Kiku and Ludwig stood, quietly chating with some guests. "Yo Kiku! Ludwig! One of you go get the first aid kit!"

Kiku and Ludwig glanced at each other and with exasperated sighs, politely dismissed themselves from the conversation. Ludwig looked like he went off to find the kit and Kiku approached.

"What happened over here? Is everything okay?" Kiku glanced down at where the boys' hands connected and exhaled a smile.

"Oh it's terrible! " the auburn haired girl clasped her hands. "Arthur got burned!"

At that moment, Ludwig arrived with the first aid and Alfred set to work. He dabbed it with a wet towel before smearing a little bit of triple anti-biotic on the red spot. He wrapped a bandaid around and gave it a quick kiss. "There, all better my little dude!"

Arthur's cheeks pinkened and he inched away in his seat a little bit. "Alfred remember when I said you would be the person I never wanted to kiss?"

Alfred held up a finger. "Actually, you said Francis was the first person, I was the second one—!"

"Well," he held of his bandaid hand. "Next time listen to my wishes and don't act like a bloody wild animal! Besides, if you just acted calm none of this would have happened!"

Alfred rolled his eyes and playfully waved a hand. "You make it sound like I bit you Artie, I just kissed your hand all better! That's all! It's what heroes do for damsels!"

"I'm not a damsel!"

"Ohhh here they go!" One of the guests squealed and grabbed her friend's arm. "Arthur is going full tsunder!"

"They're so cute!" The other girl hid behind her hands.

"No you have to watch this!"

"Actually, if you're interested I have these portfolios full of pictures from every club day, full of all your favorite events, themes, or stories." Kiku held up a magazine that had Arthur standing up straight with his arms crossed with Alfred draping an arm around the shorter with a perky smile on his face. "Actually, I have the whole collection here if you want." The Japanese boy reached behind his back and yanked out four more magazines. One had Francis looking all fancy on it, one with the twin Italians standing back to back and their signature facial expressions, one with Antonio and Gilbert winking at the camera, and last one with Ludwig looking stern but also attractive.

"Wait a minute!" Ludwig frowned and snatched the paper with his picture on it. "Why do you have pictures of us?!"

Kiku looked up and shrugged a little helplessly. "Well...You see Mr. Ludwig.."

"We'll take all of them!" The girls shot up at the same time, shoving money at Kiku, and snatching up all the magazine's at once before running off. One quickly returned to snatch the last one from the German before scampering off again.

Arthur and Ludwig still expected an answer from Kiku but the American just shrugged. "Hey, I think it's a good way for the club to make extra money!"

"Oh geez, the club is already as rich as it gets!" Arthur argues.

Ludwig nodded and crossed his arms. "And Francis already scammed those Italians into working for almost no reason considering my brother breaks everything he touches."

Alfred blinked before shrugging them off. "Oh, whatever! Arthur and I looked good on that front page!"

"Oh bug off you wank! "

Across the courtyard, Lovino and Feliciano sat together and intensely watched as Gilbert, Antonio, and two other guest played a round of UNO. Lovino watched carefully, trying to figuring out their strategies so when he felt comfortable enough, he could play a round and whip them all.

It was that moment, the young Italian noticed Antonio's mistake. And it seemed that Feliciano picked up on it too, because he quickly leaned over and whispered, "Should one of us warn him?"

Lovino waved him off. "No way. We have to see how this goes down."

They watched as Gilbert's eyes scanned his cards and tapped his lips in indecisiveness before his eyes landed on his Spanish friend's hand. "Ohhhhhh! Toni you LOSER! You have one card and didn't say UNO! You better draw a four right this instant!"

Antonio raised a brow and glanced down at his single card in confusion for a moment before coming full circle on his mistake. "Oh no! I always forget that rule!"

The girls gasped and glanced at each other as Antonio moped and picked up four cards and Gilbert cackled and patted himself on the back. "Don't worry Toni!" One of them said. "I'll draw four cards too!"

"Me too!"

Gilbert rolled his shoulders and fanned himself with his cards. "Not me! I'm too awesome for that, Toni can just suck it!"

Lovino couldn't help but agree. Of course, he would never admit that. No one agrees with Gilbert out loud ever. And if he's learned anything about this Club, agreeing with the girls, even if they seem moronic, was the proper thing to do.

Hey watched the next round of turns lay out and Gilbert's mischievous smile behind his hand. He slapped down a good ol' draw a four card just for his boy Antonio.

"Awwww!" The Spainard wined again before picking up the cards and flopping onto the floor in a pouting heap.

The girls all gasped and immediately picked up four as well for the sake of their Host. Lovino rolled his eyes and glanced at his brother who was sitting with his hands on his lap and his dress flowing out around his knees. Feliciano just giggled at the dramatic group in front of them.

As club hours neared an end, Lovino found himself walking with Feliciano back toward where the Club's King was residing. He lent over and grabbed his brother by his shoulder before cupping a hand around his ear. "Okay, the scariest part about these Host guys, is I think this how they actually are!"

Feliciano stepped back and blinked. "Wait what do you mean?"

Lovino huffed and crossed his arms. "Like, you would think with all the titles they have, 'The Mischievous Type', 'The Oblivious Type'. You would think they were just staying in character. But no, this is how they _actually_ act!"

Feliciano just waved off his brother. "Oh Lovi, you think about it way too much!" The younger Italian skipped away and his older brother grumbled out a curse before following.

Feliciano stopped when he claimed the space next to Ludwig, who was helping Kiku clean up dishes. "Hi Ludwig! What are you doing?!"

Ludwig rolled his eyes and paused to look at him. "What does it look like I'm doing Feliciano? I'm cleaning up."

Feliciano shrugged and picked up a plate as well, even going as far as to collect a few dishes before inevitably dropping them all on the brick pathway. "Ahhhhhh I'm sorry!"

"Here we go again." Arthur muttered as he sipped his tea, stubbornly refusing to help clean up.

As the cross-dressing Italian freaked out, Ludwig sighed, something that was a common reoccurence ever since their newest members arrived. He walked forward, picked up Feliciano by the shoulders and set him down a few feet away. He then proceeded to clean the remaining pieces up.

"Feliciano why do you freak out so much. It's not hard to clean up a mess." He commented as he swept up the shards of glass.

Feliciano clicked his heels and rubbed his arms. "Errr.. I mean, I neveeeeer clean up! You should see my room! It's a mess like a tornado swooped in! But you should see Lovi's room it's even worse!"

"Hey stop talking about me!"

Feliciano ignored his brother and continued, "Hey I know! You should come to my house and clean it for me!"

Ludwig tossed the pieces in the trash and gave him a deadpan stare. "What? Definitely not!"

"But why? "

Ludwig shook his head and began walking away. "I'm not interested in going to your house." He said as his face flushed slightly. "And I'm not cleaning up for you, thats something you should do yourself!"

Feliciano's head flopped to the side. Ludwig had been starting to use the tough love technique on him ever since they started becoming closer friends. He still thought Ludwig was the coolest guy he's ever met but the German was more stubborn now.

"I don't like to clean! It's hard! You would make it _perfecto!_ In fact, we could work on it together!" He help up a peace sign to help encourage the taller man but it didn't really work.

Ludwig just shook his head. "I'm surprised you don't have a maid or something."

Feliciano seasawed his hands. "We used to, but she quit when Grandpa Roma dumbed her."

The blonde's eyes narrowed and he turned to the Italian finally. "Excuse me?"

Feliciano nodded. "Grandpa dated our maid for awhile but he got a new girlfriend so she left. Grandpa Roma didn't hire another one because he said he would probably date her too."

"What kind of family is this?"

Feliciano glanced down at his hands like they would have the answer. "Mine...? I think. I'm not sure. Some times Lovino tells me I'm adopted ? And I believe him sometimes —"

Ludwig let out an irritated breath. "You know you and Lovino look almost exactly alike."

Feliciano touched the top of his head and fluffed up some of his hair as if that would change his appearance slightly. "Yeah that's true but I've seen movies where there are strangers but they're identical! But not related! Which is super cool because they can switch places and do all sorts of crazy things..."

The Italian continued speaking and Ludwig kind of just nodded in agreement most of the while as the other boy continued to trail behind him. There wasn't much else he could do. Feliciano took to him in a way most people didnt, and although he felt like he should complain, he really didn't want to in fear that Feliciano would eventually decide he didn't wanna be friends anymore. For as opposite as the two Europeans were, he couldn't say he disliked having Feliciano around.

He noticed the pause in Felicano's chatting and he looked up to see what was distracting him. "What's this?" The Italian asked with a grin as he pointed at the table.

Ludwig walked over to inspect the Italian's discovery, but his face heated up red at what he saw. "Don't look at that." He muttered as he snatched up the magazine of himself. Kiku must have left out extras in order to advertise.

"Ohhhh but you look so good on it! " Feliciano whined as he tried reaching around the German. "Come on! Please!?"

"No! "

"Kiku!"

The Japanese boy's head popped up at the mention of his name and he signed when he saw the commotion. He calmly walked over and politely cleared his throat. "Feliciano? Did you need something?"

Feliciano stopped struggling and nodded his head. "What's that magazine that Luddy has?"

Ludwig narrowed his eyes but Kiku ignored him. Usually he humored Ludwig due to being pretty much best friends with him since being forced into the club together, as well as being on good terms before that as acquaintances. But right now he thought it would be okay to give Feliciano a little something. And in the end, who knows? He might be doing Ludwig a favor.

"Those are the magazines I had made for our guests. I had some printed out for each of our Hosts. I have samples here if you'd like to look at them?" He reached into his shoulder bag and pulled a few out.

Feliciano cooed and tapped Ludwig's face on the page. "You look exactly the same in real life. Big and tough and scary."

Ludwig blushed and crossed his arms. With his eyes narrowed he said, "Are you done yet Feliciano? They are just samples so you can't keep them."

Feliciano whipped open a page and stuck his tongue out playfully. "I'll return these in a minute Kiku. I gotta go read them somewhere Ludwig can't punt me!" He grinned at the blonde before skipping away, his dress fluttering around him, and then diving into a bush.

Ludwig face palmed. "That boy.." He muttered. "I can clearly see he jumped into that bush. "

Kiku glanced up at him and shrugged. "Feliciano sure is eccentric."

"Pftt! Eccentric? My brother's a moron!" Lovino yawned as he approached. He flopped down onto a lawn chair next to Kiku and propped his legs up on the picnic table. "One time I told him that there was this thing— The Flying Spaghetti Monster. You know, he was a god that people worshipped and stuff. He straight up believed me, he didn't Google it or anything. I almost got him to convert too, but my _nanno_ slapped him upside the head first."

Kiku blinked. "You're aware that people actually believe that?"

Lovino scowled. "What?"

Kiku held up a hand and cocked his head to the side. "That is actually an official religion where people worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster."

Lovino stared at him for a moment and Ludwig raised an eyebrow. He haden't known about this either if he was completely honest.

After a few moments, Lovino broke into a grin and propped his arms up behind his head. "I singlehandedly created a religion."

Kiku sighed but decided it was better to let him believe that rather than correct him. Ludwig just shook his head. The things he had to deal with in this club.

"Errr. Anyways, Mr. Lovino. Have you decided what activity you're going to join? Feliciano and I are taking art, will you be joining us?"

Lovino rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue. Somehow, Feliciano managed to make friends with the relatively normal kid _and_ the crazy potato bastard. Which was like a win-lose situation. Meanwhile, Lovino had Dora the Explorer chasing him around.

"Look Kiku, I don't know how Feliciano convinced you to take art with him but that is a terrible idea. You will not be able to deal with—!"

"It's a great idea!" Feciano laughed as he pushed down on the back of Lovino's chair, almost causing him to fall over.

"Feliciano what the fuck?! Take a chill pill!"

Ludwig waved a hand at him. "Weren't you off reading magazines in the bushes?!"

Feliciano waved the pages above him head. "Yeah! I already looked at all the pictures! Magazines are boring to read!" He handed them back to Kiku and placed a hand on the glass picnic table in front of them. "But you guys should all take art with us! It'll be fun!

Lovino made an over exaggerated puking sound. Kiku hesitantly high fived Feli when he excitingly held up a hand. Ludwig frowned. "Hm I'm not sure about that."

Feliciano glanced over his shoulder at him before dropping to his knees and making his best puppy dog eyes. "Pllleeeeasser! Luddddy! At least consider it?! What other club do you have in mind?!"

Ludwig flushed and turned away. "I don't yet but..." He glanced down at the boy in front of him and the heat through him increased. " Err. Fine. I'll think about it—but that didn't mean yes! " he added as the younger Vargas leaped up and hugged him around his torso.

"Yay! You might be joining art club with us!"

Ludwig groaned while his his brother watched from not too far away. Gilbert let out a sob before falling to his knees in a dejected manner.

Antonio tore his eyes from the group of first years and glanced down at his albino friend. He squatted next to him and with a sunshiny smile asked, "Hey Gil what's wrong?"

Gilbert let out a cacophony of unpleasent sounds. "Francy!" He called.

Francis glanced over his shoulder with lidded eyes and a smirk on his lips. "Yes Gilly?"

Gilbert still had a frown on his face and he traced imaginary doodles on the pavement with his finger. "Ugh! It seems like bruder gets to spend more time with Feli than I do! That's not awesome at all since Luddy is so dorky! Kiku too!"

Francis raised a brow and let out a chuckle. "You're just now noticing this?"

Gilbert's reaction was that of someone getting struck by lightning.

Francis shook his head in amusement and pulled out a chart from literally no where. He pointed at the graph. "Here's someone Kiku whipped up earlier. Since they are all in the same class they spend approximately 9 hours with Feli a day." He pointed at the yellow part of the pie graph that represented Gilbert. "And you only see him during club hours. Oh my sweet Gilbert, you only make up a mere three percent of his time. "

"SO UNAWESOME!" Gilbert shrieked and threw his fists in the air, drawing the attention of the subjects of conversation.

Antonio cocked his head at the graph. "Wait, Gilbert and I are in the same grade and Lovino and Feli are in the same grade. .. So that means I only make up three percent of Lovino's time too?!"

Francis patted the pouting boy's shoulder. _"Tres bien_ Toni, you figured it out."

"Feli!" They heard Gilbert finally cry and rush to the younger host who was blinking obliviously. The albino grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him a bit. "Feli! I know my bruder is amazing, I mean he was influenced by someone as awesome as me! But that's why I think you should start hanging around me instead because then you can be awesome like me! Besides!" He held up a hand and practically stage whispered, "Luddy can get kind of crazy sometimes!"

The blonde German glared at his brother and yanked him back by the collar. "Me being crazy? I think you're getting that mixed up with yourself _Gilbert."_ He said his name in a more harsh tone.

Gilbert yanked himself away from his younger brother and dusted off his shoulders. "Well, anyways! Feli, what activity do you plan on signing up for?! If it's awesome enough maybe I'll sign up too. I mean— the two of us are a couple of the cool—!"

"I think there are more important things to be worried about than some silly activities." Arthur cut in as he strolled over.

Francis rolled his eyes and Gilbert scoffed. "Like what Eyebrows?"

The Brit glared for a moment before taking a deep breath and continuing. "Physical exams are the day after tommorow."

Francis gasped loudly. Ludwig and Kiku glanced at each other in a worried manner. "I completely forgot.." The Japanese boy muttered.

Gilbert, Antonio, Feli and Lovino stared at him in confusion. Alfred walked up with half a sandwich hanging out of his mouth. "What're we talking about?"

"Physical exams!" Francis cried as he threw an arm out dramatically. Arhur rolled his eyes at the drama.

"Who the fuck cares?" Lovino shrugged as he stood from his chair and stretched

"Yeah Arthur we do them every year! Stop being weird." Antonio commented and glanced at Lovino who stuck out his tongue at him.

Arthur's head rolled to the side and he puffed out some air. For as obnoxious as he was, at least Francis understood what he was getting at. "Physical exams! Everyone will find out Feli is a boy!"

As soon as it dawned on everyone, their eyes went wide. "Wait what?!" Feliciano yelled and ran to Arhur. He gripped his shoulders and shook him much like Gilbert was previously doing. "But what does that mean for the club!?"

Arthur scowled. "I don't know but wold you stop?"

Feli glanced down at his hands and stepped back. "Oh sorry!" He wasn't quite sure what the problem since Alfred was always doing that to him but he decided not to say anything.

Francis stepped forward, and he looked as if he were about to say something but Lovino cut him off. "Who really cares if everyone finds out?"

"WHAT!? "

* * *

" _Lovino, my dear, what is wrong?" Antonio smiled as he reached down for the younger Italian's hand._

 _Lovino glanced around himself nervously and tucked a piece of hair behind his ear. "It's just, I feel like everyone is staring at me... I'm not used to it.."_

 _Antonio leaned forward. "Oh Lovi how are you not used to it? You are the most adorable and handsomest person in the room! That's why they are staring at you!"_

 _Lovino's face broke into a bright smile and he jumped forward , wrapping his arms around the Spaniard's neck as he embraced him. "Antonio Fernandez-Carriedo! I love you so much!"_

Antonio giggled silently to himself as the scene played over in his head. He grinned at the ceiling, his eyes lidded as he walked through the clubroom.

Gilbert and Francis glanced at each other with raised eyebrows as they walked on either side of their friend. The albino cackled as he swung his hand at the back of Antonio's head, immediately ending his daydream.

"Owwww!" The Spaniard whined as he rubbed the back of his head. "Gil why did you do that?!"

Francis clicked his tongue and patted Toni's head gently. "Were you daydreaming about Lovino being in love with you again?"

Antonio flushed and grinned as he ruffled his hair. "Oops! I think I was!"

"Were there tomatos in this one?"

Antonio closed his eyes and scrunched up his face. "Okay now there are." He smiled and opened his eyes again.

Gilbert blew a loud raspberry as the three joined Athur, Alfred, Kiku and Ludwig at the table.

"Bruder, what the hell are you carrying on about now?" Ludwig face palmed in a way that suggested he didn't receive a lot of sleep.

"Antonio and his lame-o fantasies. It's clear we are in a badass romance slash action slash comedy movie! And of course Feli and I are the main characters! "

Francis crossed his arms and took a seat next to Alfred. Antonio followed his lead. "Oh yeah? So what are you guys? Love interests?"

Gilbert seemed to consider this before answering. "If it means we get it on later in the story, then yes! We are!"

Alfred, who obviously has a hero complex of some sort, crossed his arms on the surface of the table. He didnt like the thought of a movie without himself as the main hero! "What does that make us then dude?"

Gilbert grinned. "You losers, are the heterosexual supporting cast!"

Francis gasped dramatically and the rest of them stared at the albino in an unamused manner.

Ludwig shook his head. "I don't know if you all get it, but if we don't figure something out, everyone will know Feliciano is a boy."

Kiku looked at Francis who nibbled on his lips nervously. "We can't let that happen!" The King declared.

"Pardon me asking Frogface, " Arthur cut in smoothly. "Not that I don't enjoy Feli being here but what is the problem with them knowing he's a boy? He's hasen't really drawn in any male guests at all and the girls will probably like him the same amount"

Francis waved at hand at him. "Oh, you adorable sweet naive idiot." Arthur glared. "The Host Club already made a statement. We have a female host. If we take that back it will disgrace us!"

"But we're lying already, " Alfred pointed out. "Aren't we a disgrace already?"

Francis chuckled and poked the blonde's nose. "Not if no one finds out!" Alfred blinked and rubbed the spot where Francis' smooth finger violated him.

Kiku held up a hand as he dug one of his books out of his bag. "Well from what I've picked up on, at his old school, Felicinao was kind of a flirt. He liked to talk it up to the ladies and girls would often show much interest. Lovino was somewhat known for this too but to a lesser extent."

Ludwig could feel his cheeks heat up and he rolled his eyes at this new information. "Feliciano flirts with the girls, while he is posing as one!"

Francis smiled slyly at the young German, but before he could make some comment about him being jealous, Gilbert tossed a paper airplane across the room. He didn't even notice Gilbert make one!

"They gotta go through me if they wanna get lil' Feli!"

"You wouldn't beat up a girl! " Francis pointed at him.

Gilbert shrugged. "Gender don't matter." Francis gave him a look and he sighed. "Fine, I wouldn't beat up a girl. Unless it was Elizabeta."

Francis gave him the same look.

"Stare all you want I'm not budging on this one."

At that moment Feli and Lovino pushed the doors open and hurried into the room, painting slightly. "Sorry we're late!" Feli called at the same time Lovino huffed out "we fucking made perfect timing!"

The room immediately broke out into loud yelling and arm movements as the group tried to inform Feliciano on how serious of a situation they were in. Feliciano just looked overwhelmed as he took a few steps back from the insane commotion aimed at him. Lovino was also clearly confused, because he held onto his brother's shoulders and ducked down behiind him as if he were a human shield.

Ludwig had pity on the poor numbskulls so he made his way over through the hysteria. Feli locked eyes with him. "Ludwig what is happening?!"

The room was still loud but it seemed like the others were talking about something completely different now. Yeah they were. Gilbert was shouting the word "penis" as loud as he could to hear it echo against the walls. Antonio and Alfred got a kick outta that one.

Ludwig ignored it and held up a hand. "For the sake of the club Feliciano were going to have to keep on insisting you're a girl."

Some part of Ludwig expected him to question it, while another part completely expected what happened. "Ok!" He smiled. "Whatever helps the Club!" He had been worrying about it all night ever since the problem came up the day before.

Francis stopped laughing for a moment to glance at them. "Wait, really?" When Feli clicked his heels together and hummed a positive response, Francis turned to Ludwig and nodded.

Ludwig crossed his arms and turned to all the original members. "Okay troops, tomorrow at the Physical Exams be positioned in formation A." He found himself saying, for whatever reason having memorized this completley hypothetical plan the group came up with out of the blue one day. Apparently it really would come in handy.

"Yes sir!" Feli saluted, though Ludwig was pretty sure he didn't know what any of it meant.

"Wait a minute!" Lovino held up the time out sign. "It's because if people find out he's a boy he won't benefit the club the same way and people will hate you for lying so that means..." He began mumbling numbers and counting on his fingers . "Well, whatever it is we'll have to find another way to pay back the debt!"

Feliciano's hands flew to his cheeks. "We have to do something! Lovino can be kind of a jerk if he doesn't have the proper motivation!"

Antonio face palmed but a small smile played at his lips. "Why does Lovi have to be so stubborn?" He moved forward and tugged on Lovino's arm, his face now in a pout. "Are you saying you hate being a Host!?"

With a loud scoff, Lovino pulled his hand away and turned toward the window. "Ugh if I haven't made it clear already! Yes I hate it!"

Antonio let out a sound after that metaphorical punch in the gut and Francis was right there ready to catch him when he fell backwards.

Lovino ignored the drama and ran his fingers through his hair. "I pretty much can't stand being here with you guys— I mean I'm sure you guys get it. This is a complete freak show!"

Feli moaned and fell to his knees. "But I reallllly love being part of the Host Club!"

Antonio, Gilbert, and Francis all cooed really loud at that and dove at him, attacking him in hugs.

Lovino narrowed his eyes and shrugged. "Fine whatever. I don't give a shit but that doesn't mean I need to help conceal your gender. There is really no reason for me to hang around, you guys are on your own."

Francis popped his head up from where he was smothering Feliciano and yelled "Wait! Lovino! Remember what I said the first day! I'll tell your grandpa how you messed up!"

Lovino stopped and turned around where all the Hosts were looking at him smuggly. Even his own brother was and that was really weird!

"Come on you guys, you don't really think I'm soooo scared of my grandpa that I would stay in the club because of that!..."

"It would be a shame we wouldn't have Lovino's ... Sunshiny presence around anymore.. " Arthur taunted and shrugged as Alfred chuckled next to him.

"Yeah Lovi! I would miss having you around!" Antonio cocked his head to the side with a smile.

Gilbert shook his head and shrugged. "Yeah, I sure wonder what his grandpa would do to him, if we, I don't know... told him Feliciano had nothing to do with it and it was all Lovino's fault! ?"

Lovino's eyebrows shot up and his fists curled. "Oh my God he'd kill me.." He grumbled and looked over at his brother who was still sitting in the floor. "Fine whatever! I guess I'm stuck here until we pay back this fucking money!"

"Yay! " the others called as Antonio hugged Lovino tightly. He merely groaned, not in the mood to fight again.

,...

"Physical exams will be starting shortly! All students please report to your respective clinics!" A woman's voice rang through the loud speakers.

Feli found himself walking alongside his brother, Ludwig and Kiku down the hall toward the destination. He glanced up at the German next to him. "Okay so I have absolutely no idea what formation A is so what are we even gonna be doing because I'm super confused."

Ludwig didn't look at him but he nodded his head. "Don't worry we know you're completely clueless and incompetent with out directions. We have that covered."

Feliciano smiled up at him. "Thanks!"

Ludwig frowned with a blush and turned away. "Uh yeah."

Next to them, Lovino propped his arms up behind his head and groaned at the ceiling . "Okay but what is the deal with these stupid physical exams?"

Kiku tucked his phone in his pocket and shrugged. "Well, they are pretty much like any physical exam you might have taken before."

Ludwig gave his friend a side glance. "Yeah Kiku, except you forget how rich and over ridiculous this school can be!"

Feli pondered how extravagant it could get. He and Lovino always attended wealthier schools, but never one quite like this. He glanced up at Ludwig again, wondering if these exams meant he got to see the attractive German shirtless for the first time. He put a knuckle to his lips to conceal his smile before glancing down at his feet. He still wasn't sure on how they were going to keep his secret. "Oh, well I'm sure it can't be that fancyyyyyyy— WOW THIS IS AMAZING!"

After the doors were pushed open, they were met with lines of female nurses welcoming them, their arms outstretched as they greeted them.

"Holy shit!" Lovino muttered at he scanned the crowded room.

A few of the nurses approached them, one stopping in front of Kiku. "Mr. Honda can you follow me this way please?" Kiku looked a little uncomfortable but he went along with it. Kiku was usually uncomfortable with unfamiliar social interaction. He was working on it.

That same thing soon happened to Ludwig and he briefly glanced over at Feli and gave a reassuring nod before following his nurse.

"Excuse me, Vargas twins?" The two boys turned to the woman calling them and she smiled politely. "I'll be your nurse today! Can you please follow me?" They nodded and did as told, with Lovino glancing around the room in a skeptical manner and Feli thinking about how cute their nurse was despite her looking a little too old for him.

As they silently followed her, they hear one girl call out, "Hey! Why are Alfred and Antonio dressed as doctors?!"

"Huh? " Feli quickly looked over and cocked his head to the side when he saw exactly that. Antonio waved to him and Alfred shoved his shoulder in a way to get him to stop blowing his cover.

"Those damn morons what are they up to?" Lovino shook his head.

"They're here for back up." Francis popped up behind them and flipped his hair over his shoulder.

"Why are they dressed as fucking doctors? "

"They're here to set the mood and make our operation feel more realistic!"

"Wow! Are you the serious?" They heard a supposed Russian accent, possibly Ukrainian, through the area. The three boys lifted their heads and looked across the rooms as a tall girl with enormous breasts and short platinum blonde hair stood on a scale. For whatever reason, her curtain was open.

"Yeah! Eight pounds less than this time last year! That's excellent keep up the good work!"

The girl clapped her hands enthusiastically. "That's great news! I can't wait to tell my big brother!"

Feliciano watched as she skipped off and he scratched his head. "Wow these doctors are really nice! Mine have never been this nice."

Francis raised a brow at at him. "Really? A wealthy family like yours doesn't have nice doctors?"

Feliciano glanced at Lovino and looked back at Francis before shrugging. "Well maybe it's because grandpa likes to keep it in the family, so my cousin Valentina is my doctor and Valentine does not like me! One time when I was a kid I was playing with her cat and I thought it's fur was too long so I gave him a hair cut and she was so mad! He didn't even look that bad! And another time I accidentally dropped a pair of scissors down her heat vent and a portion of her house caught on fire. I guess I can understand being mad at that one but she always sticks the needle in so it hurts a lot! And—!"

"That's enough little one. " Francis chuckled as he cupped a hand over the Italian's mouth. "Besides this is just a formality. The kids have private doctors but the chairman hand picked these doctors to keep students happy."

Lovino, with his arms up behind his head, glanced around to see where their nurse went. He shook his head. "What kind of fucking school is this?"

Francis genuinely looked at him and shrugged. "One full of a lot of attractive boys and girls?"

Lovino frowned. "No, just a stupid one." Francis frowned and shooed him away. Lovino scrunched up his face and stomped off. Feli shrugged and followed him.

Francis exhaled a bit and shook his head, a smile playing at his lips. "Those twins.." He muttered before stepping forward only to bump shoulders with some one passing by. The person was a bit taller than him, and although he had boyish features he seemed to be too old to attend school here, possible around the age of twenty. He had blonde hair with gel but it didn't seem to do the job of slicking it back. He glanced at Francis with large startled blue eyes and stumbled back.

"S-sorry!" He sputtered out before turning on his heel and running down the hall. He had an accent that sounded slightly Italian, but Francis wasn't too sure. The Frenchman watched his retreating figure for a moment, before putting a hand to his chin. "Hmmmm..."

Moments later, the king of the host club found himself standing with his nurse. The Vargases, Ludwig, and the rest of them were not too far away. In restrospect, Antonio and Alfred did look pretty odd dressed as doctors.

Either way, he turned to his nurse when she asked him to step behind the curtain and derobe. He chucked and waved a hand. "Curtain? I'm not shy." He smoothly replied and smiled at the girls who were all gathered around and holding their breath.

He peeled his shirt off his back and tighten his stomach in order for it to look at it's best. The girls broke into shrieks. "Oh, please girls you're embarrassing me!" He jested but he actually loved it and then attention. He quietly noticed Antonio and Alfred share a look before snagging Feli and dragging him away. Francis nearly snorted at Lovino's loud " what the fuck" reaction. But it was too loud and no one heard.

Meanwhile, Feli was shoved into a room and nearly fell to the floor, but someone grabbed his shoulders before he crashed. He looked up, but neither Antonio or Alfred were around stil. Over his shoulder he noticed Gilbert was the one holding him up.

"Gil?!"

The albino grinned and released the smaller boy. "Don't worry my sweet little noodle! I got it all covered!"

Feliciano gazed at him up and down and concluded that he was confused. "Wait but what are you wearing?!"

"Mrs. Vargas?" They heard a voice come from outside the curtain. "We're eady for your chest measurements so when you've finished disrobing please meet me out here!"

"Oh Feli is next!" They heard a voice squeal.

Feli wasn't quite sure why all the girls were also interested in seeing him half naked when they thought he was girl and spent host club hours gushing about cute boys together. Either way, it really wouldn't have bugged him at all, if only it didn't jeopardize his job as a host.

"Oh no Gilbert what are we gonna do—!"

Gilbert patted his head, his whole get up still a little strange to Feli. He winked and pushed open the curtain.

As he stepped out, the whole room went silent. Gilbert stood there, a white tank top stuffed with paper and a dark wig. To make it even more convincing, he taped a curl to the lower left side of his head. He cleared his throat. "I am Feli.. Uh.. Vargas." He stated rather unconvincingly.

The girls staring back at him seemed to blink simultaneously.

"Isn't that Gilbert?"

"Is he cosplaying as Feli? "

"Is he trying to be funny?"

Behind the curtain, Feli flopped over. Gilbert really didn't look like him!

Behind the crowd, laughter could be heard. In an irritated rage, Gilbert lifted his chin and noticed Arthur and Alfred, finally reunited, laughing their asses off.

"He actually did it!" Alfred took off his glasses and wiped his eyes.

"I told you they'd figure it out!" Arthur wheezed as he leaned on the American for support.

Gilbert's maroon eyes sparkled in rage and his jaw dropped, before he teared off his wig and rushed over. He grabbed Alfred by the throat and shook him shouting, "I THIOUGHT YOU SAID NO ONE WOULD KNOW!?"

Alfred grinned despite being manhandled and held up his hands. "It's revenge for calling us the heterosexual supporting cast!"

Gilbert dropped him to the floor. With his shirt still stuffed and everyone in the room laughing at him, he poked his head back in to check on Feli. Who was sitting on the floor sniffling while a now present Lovino sat next to him with a scowl on his face.

"Heh..." He attempted as he glanced at the two boys. "It didn't work. "

When Lovino shot up and his eyes sparkled dangerously, Gilbert knew he shouldn't have been surprised when a tiny Italian first of rage found itself in his gut.

* * *

Lovino let out a puff of air as he sat next to his now mostly consoled brother. This was all a stupid idea and it seemed to even be taking a tole on his ridiculous brother's mood.

Antonio bounced in from behind the curtain, his shirt still unbuttoned from his chekup. "Hi guys! How's it going!?"

Lovino rolled his eyes and turned away from the dumb Spaniard. "It could be better if this plan wasn't so stupid."

Antonio took a seat next to Lovino and scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Well we did come up with operation A pretty randomly so I guess it could have been more thought through."

Lovino looked over at him. He really kinda wished he close that shirt up because he was pretty damn distracting. But not in a sexy way, in a stupid bastard way. "Hey, how much more debt do we have to pay back?"

Antonio shrugged. "A certain amount."

"Oh my gosh can you be any more stupid?"

Antonio cocked his head with a smile and patted the younger boy's head. He ignored him as he tried swatting him away. "The club wouldn't be the same without you!"

"Pftt you're damn right," he scoffed as he adjusted his collar. "This club would suck without me."

Antonio looked as if he were going to respond, but Francis' gentle voice cut him off. "Feli? I have a private doctor for you on standby. He is sworn to secrecy so you don't have to worry about a thing!"

"Huh?" Feliciano lifted his head from where he seemed to be dozing off.

"Oh yeah," Antonio bobbed up in his seat. "That's why I came in here!" At that moment, the rest of the club team strolled in to the small space concealed by nothing but a curtain. "Turns out most of the doctors here are staff at one of Francis' family's hospitals."

Arthur rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders. "I mean, it would have been nice if the frog told us that earilier. But it is the bloody Frogface so what could we expect?"

Francis tapped his chin. "Despite what that obnoxious shortcake says, I did have to get my own form of revenge on Gilbert didn't I? I just don't think I'm supporting cast. Heterosexual or other wise." He glanced over his shoulder at the albino who still laid on the floor right behind the group, a bunch of girls squatting next to him and poking him.

Ludwig nodded his head, and almost in a shameful way agreed. "It's about time brother learns his lesson."

.

Not too long later, Feli's safely with his secret doctor and the others boys felt confident enough he would be okay. They traveled down the hall, on their way to do who knows what, when a girl with dark skin and pigtails held by red bows, was found on the floor crying. She was surrounded by a group and they all patted her back in a sympathetic way.

"I'm telling you I think he tried to make a pass at me! He ran straight into me and his hands gripped my shoulders super duper tight!"

Kiku raised an eyebrow. "I wonder what happened over there."

Francis sighed and crossed his arms. "I was afraid something like this might happened."

Lovino scowled. "What the hell does that mean?"

Francis twisted a strand of hair as his eyes lingered on the crying girl. "I saw a stange man earlier running around, and he clearly doesn't belong here."

Ludwig face palmed. "And you didn't think telling anyone was a good idea?"

"It is the bloody frog for you." The Brit muttered again, and Gilbert, who was now pretty recoverd and paperless, cackled.

"Shut up Arthur," Francis huffed and looked back at the German. "I honestly... Didn't think of that. But, if anything really does happen, I know the security guard will—"

"Where did the pervert go?" The teacher asked the crying girl.

She sniffled. "Ohh... Um. Oh yeah! He ran off toward the special girls clinic!"

The hosts froze and their legs went limp. "Feli!" They all chorused at once in utter worry before racing down the hall toward their beloved cross-dressing MVP of the Hosts.

Feliciano hummed to himself as he stripped off his dress, now merely standing in black shorts and his socks. His tune halted when he heard the curtain move, and for a moment he had a flashback to the day Ludwig dropped off a towel for him and inevitably found out his true gender (though he wasn't hiding it).

But this person, who very well could have been Ludwig due to his blonde hair and blue eyes, was unfortunately not him. Despite the similarities, he was a lot skinnier and he had this sort of scared wild look in his eyes that made Feli a little nervous.

"Um, excuse me—!" He started but the man leaped toward and placed a hand on his mouth.

"I'm sorry it's not what it looks like—! "

There wasn't time for him to finish though, because he ended flying across the room and hitting the wall. Feli looked up to see Ludwig, and with the way his arm was extended, it seemed like he was the one who socked the other in the face.

Feli gasped as he felt two people come up beside him. He could practically hear the heroic music playing as Gilbert spoke, "Number One: Enough sexiness to attract the public eye!"

Antonio nodded. "And excitement that turns no one away!"

Kiku stepped up and held up two fingers. "Number Two: more money than you can imagine."

Athur and Alfred took their place shoulder to shoulder. "Number Three: Reliatively good chivalry for today's society," Arthur said.

"Also, the best cuisine anyone could ask for!" The American added.

Francis stood with his legs together and thrusted a finger at the poser. "That's what makes up The Ouran Host Club!"

Lovino, who somehow agreed to let them do their stupid introductions, shoved to the front and stuck a finger in the wild man's face. "What do you think you were about to do?! You crazy fucker!"

"Lovino that's enough." Ludwig said as he peeled his jacket off and placed it over a wide eyed Feliciano's head. Lovino halted and glared at the German before stepping back cautiously.

"Please don't hurt me!" The man cried and Feliciano watched as Ludwig started the slightly older man down. It was odd, Ludwig looked more like he could be this guy's brother more than Gilbert's!

"Look, I'm— I haven't been here in years. I ran away from home years ago but I'm here now looking for a girl. I was two years older than her, but she should be a senior now and I was told she goes to this school! I have to keep my promise I'd come back to her so that's why I'm here!"

"A girl?" Francis echoed.

The man nodded and sighed. "I left her and I promised I would come back. She's the daughter of a hobbyist artist, and she is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen with curly auburn locks..."

Antonio fanned at his eyes. "Oh this is a sad story!"

"Yeah dudes we gotta help him! " Alfred added and smiled

"Bullshit." Lovino muttered.

Ludwig's face haden't softened and his gaze didn't brake from the man's face. Feliciano watched as the thoughts seemed to play out in his head, trying to come up with a solution. Finally, Ludwig said, "Are you sure you have the right school? And she doesn't attended Ouran Public School?"

The stranger's face dropped. "Oh no!"

Gilbert rolled his eyes. "Lame! Where do you even get your info about this girl."

Ludwig ignored his older brother's insult and turned to Kiku. "Can you please get a map of all the public schools in this area? We are going to help with this man find his Miss."

Kiku smiled. "Sure thing." Feliciano watched as Kiku walked off before turning his attention back to Ludwig , who walked forward and helped the poor man up. Feliciano couldn't help smiling heartwarmingly.

* * *

They waved as the blonde stranger walked under the cherry blossoms and out the school gate, the black like cape he was wearing fluttering behind him.

"Are you sure this was even a good idea?" Arthur crossed his arms and leant up against the wall next to the window. "I mean, a lot can happen in two years! For all we know his girlfriend might have met someone else. He didn't even tell us why he ran away."

Francis was gonna say something all inspiring and dramatic like, _"they'll have to figure that out_ _themselves_ " but Ludwig beat him to the punch—

"We don't need his reasons for anything. What we do know is that he is going to work it out with that girl. And whether it goes in his favor or not is up to him."

Feliciano felt his heart beat with every word that was said and he leaned his head on Ludwig's arm. The tall blonde looked down for a moment and blushed, but he didn't pull away.

Lovino rolled his eyes and pulled the window shut. "Okay, okay, can you guys leave now?"

The others gasped and Antonio gripped his hair. "You aren't going to quit the Host Club right?!"

Lovino puffed out his cheeks and considered threatening to again, but ultimately decided to tell the truth. "No, but Feli has to finish his physical exam." He pointed at the Italian who still has Ludwig's jacket draped over his head and was clinging to the same boy's arm still. "As a girl I guess..." He added with masked irritation.

The others all smiled and he could hear the headache rising so he quickly added, "But I'm not doing this because you said you'd tattle. I'm just doing it to repay my debt."

Antonio's face quickly morphed into a radiant smile and he leaped foward, his arms wrapping around the smaller Italian's torso. "Oh Lovino you're so cute! I knew you loved playing with us! Tomorrow you can choose whatever game you want! As long as it isn't trivia because I'm really bad at trivia but anything else!"

"Jesus! Okay! Just let me go you crazy bastard! "

Feliciano beamed and hopped on the balls of his feet. "Good idea! Hug time!" Then he wrapped his arms around Ludwig like a koala and refused to move. Gilbert cackled and jumped on his little brother's back.

"No! No!" Arthur's eyes went wide as both Alfred and Francis cornered him and wrapped him up in a hug.

Kiku surveyed the scene, and after a quick picture he let himself out. He loved those guys, but he really wasn't a hugger.

* * *

 **So to be honest, there will probably be like two chapters a year... it probably would've been out sooner but I started reading this book One of Us Is Lying. So flipping good, 10/10, would read again and I recommend it to all of you. (But there is 0 fandom for it and I'm dead inside)**

 **Anyway, I feel like this chapter was a bit off. I didn't really plan this one out so sorry that it might seem inconsistent? Idk. Also, sorry there wasn't a lot of spamamo or usuk this chapter. It's hard to give so many characters screen time.**

 **Anyways, in case you were wondering, yes that dude was Holy Roman Empire and the girl he was looking for was nyo!Italy. (Yes I'm a strong believer of the HRE/Germany theory but this is an AU)**

 **Also I know Dora is Mexican and not a Spainard so chill for anyone who was about to attack me.**

 **~Iwilldrinkthiscoffee**

 **3/11/18**


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